Perfectly imperfect

Breathe

* Stiles

I'm having a panic attack, I already know it. My throat feels tight, And I can't breathe.

Flashback

"Matt I don't feel good, is it hot in here to you."

"No babe, do you want to get out of here?"

"Yeahhh," I say my words starting to slur.

I only had one drink, why is the room spinning. I felt like throwing up as Matt practically caries me up the stairs. Why are we going up?

I closed my eyes for a second, but when I opened them I was on the bed.

Theo's locking the door, wait where are we?

I could hardly move and the ground looked miles away, and I squinted my eyes to make sure it actually was Matt.

"Wha are you ... doinggg, locking the d-" Matt smashes his lips on mine, hitting my teeth hard making me whimper in pain.

"This... isn't what I meant... PPle-ease get o-off of m-e," my words didn't seem to come out clearly, maybe because I was terrified or because my tongue felt like my brain wasn't relaying the message quick enough.

He grabs my wrist when I start to squirm.

"Stop fucking squirming Stiles!"

"No, ple-ease, someone... help me, help me!" I scream finally getting my last words out.

That when I felt a hand slap across my face, making it sting. I stated crying harder, and he put his hand on my mouth, "Stop crying and scream one more time and I'll have to punish you."

I sobbed, Matt took all of my cloths off  and then everything went dark.

- flashback ended

"Stiles! Stiles wake up!"

I felt something shaking me, and heard a voice that sounded so distant.

"Stiles, stiles please. Stiles!"

"Breathe stiles!"

I gasped, feeling the oxygen flow into my lungs welcomingly.

I didn't even know I was holding my breath.

With that last word coming though the dark fog clouding my thoughts, I opened my eyes. My eyes open to green ones, piercing though me, I can't focus on anything but those eyes because everything is still fuzzy.

Theirs a ringing in my ears and I'm wrapped in Dereks arms as he lays my head on his lap and brings something to my lips.

"Stiles, its sprite, you need to drink it because your blood pressure dropped when you passed out."

I sip it until I'm feeling better, and then Derek picks me up like I weigh nothing.

"Derek, I'm fine now I can walk.p Don't worry it happens from time to time."

"Stiles, you fainted and fell on the floor! Its not just an 'it happens' situation, you could of hit your head."

"But I didn't"

Derek raises his eyebrows which just makes him intimidating.

"I'm gonna stop talking,"

"Yes you are, after you tell me I was right."

"You were to a certain extent, not completely wrong."

He just rolled his eyes, "Scott, Isaac. Car now!"

They get in before us in the seats in front, and derek pulled me into the ones facing the front.

I curled up close to his body because, who'd pass up the opportunity to bury the face in the effect place. Where Dereks shoulder curved upwards to his neck.

I took a breath and smelt the best smell, like clean laundry and something really masculine.

I've decided its my favorite scent. I'd have a candle of it if i could. So I could bottle it up an take it everywhere.

I closed my eyes, and saw Matt hovering over me, I shut them even tighter.

Tensing until I felt a hand run through my hair, comforting me I pushed away my thoughts and fell asleep.

I woke up in my bed and found my self laying on someone's shoulder, I look up and see that, to my disappointment, Scott.

I'm glad he's here with me it's just I was expecting someone else.

Scott shifted and opened his eyes, "omg, are you ok? I wanted to ask you earlier but Dereks scary. What happened?" He said tiredly rubbing his eyes.

"I don't know, just seeing that man grab Isaac scared me, my anxiety's been off the charts lately."

I lied and I know Scott an tell, I mean we grew up together he knows me more than I know myself.

My hands are fidgeting and my legs twitching, because I just can't seem to stay still.

He doesn't question my lying which makes me relax a little.

"Yeah Derek was so mad, but I beat him to the old man and then he saw you and he was shutting out everything. Apparently Isaac had a really abusive dad, so when he grabbed him he just panicked."

I saw Matt grabbing my wrist and forcing it on the bed and I shuddered.

"You ok?"

"Yeah just tired, good night Scottie,"

"Good night Sti."

- Derek

Isaac is next to me, snoring softly. I know he had a rough night because the past trauma from his piece of shit dad.

Stiles though, I couldn't figure out what triggered a panic attack. Was it anxiety, or... was it the aggressive demeanor of the drunk? Was it because he grabbed Isaac, maybe it sent him back to his experience that, is literally in no doctors file. Was Stiles raped? Why didn't he tell anyone? No, I must be wrong, I pray to whatever's out there that I'm wrong.

Shit, now I'm definitely not getting sleep.

I rolled around for hours, until Issac finally got up to go to the couch, scowling at me.

"Sorry," I call out softly to the retreating Isaac.

I finally feel asleep, the last time I checked the clock it was three forty three.

I woke up to the smell of pancakes.

I saw Stiles at the oven with Scott and Isaac watching and chatting quietly.

He wasn't all dressed up this morning, and y stomach still fluttered at the sight of him.

"I thought I was the one supposed to take care of you?" I say smiling and pouring my self a cup of coffee.

"Well, you do plenty for me, and this is just a simple thank you."

He was just smiling so sweetly, and I had to look down at my coffee, keeping my smile small.

"Um, Stiles. We need to talk, about what triggered you last night."

He got pale and he looked back to the pancakes in the skillet frowning deeply, "I can't."