You wouldn't even believe I married this man and almost two years ago gave him his first child. This really breaks my fucking heart we went through so much in high school and even through the years before we tied the knot. The fact that he has a child at home. Makes it even worse and I just don't know how to deal with it. I don't even know what to do its almost Meilani's second birthday there's no telling how long this has been going on. I put Meilani down for a nap and start to pack her an over night bag she's going to stay with her Auntie for the night while I figure things out. I call Sasha and tell her I'll be over in twenty minutes and I get myself together I shower and change into comfy clothes and take her bags down to the car and then go back up and get her. I strap her in and head to Sashas I get there and she's confused still waiting for me to tell her wassup so I tell her that Meilani is staying the night and I take everything inside and take out the car seat and put it in her car I get inside and get situated and look and see that I've got two hours before Adrian gets home. So I sit down and take a deep breath and look her dead in the face and say Adrians cheating on me. She pauses and stares at me and goes no seriously wassup. So I say all jokes aside he's cheating bad clearly he's been cheating I knew I wasn't crazy things haven't been right between us he's been pushing me away and being secretive and having long hours at work and constantly said work had him stressed that why he's been on edge but in actuality he's been seeing a chick named Summer. Sasha is speechless and she ask how I know and I pull out my phone a girl texted me trying to talk to me "Woman to Woman" she had been calling but I didn't know the number so she texted me and then sent proof of them out to dinner and the one that got me was him in the bed during the weekend he said he had a trip with his homeboy planned. I show her the pictures and she just doesn't know what to say and I tell her I just need her to keep Meilani for no more than two nights and I'll be back. She's confused and ask what I'm going to do and I said confront him tonight but after that I'm leaving I don't want to be anywhere near him and I don't want him showing up looking for me anywhere so I'm going to stay somewhere else he can come see Meilani because I won't keep her from him but I don't even want to look at him honestly. I'm gonna go I have to pack a bag for myself before he gets home I'll let you know what happens I hug her and then go give Lani a kiss before leaving. I turn my music down to be with my thoughts like how do I confront him thing is I'm not even mad I'm hurt after EVERYTHING we been through this took the cake like not even two years into the marriage just one year and a fucking baby yo my feelings are beyond hurt. I pull up to the house and I sit there for a moment then I go in and grab some stuff and throw it in a bag I grab lani some more stuff I won't be back there for awhile. I take it all down to the car and clean up the house. I go back upstairs and just wait. I hear his car pull in and he comes in drops his keys and calls out to me I don't answer instead I just sit there I hear him come up the stairs he goes to lanis room first and flicks on the light and turns it back off when he realizes she's not there then comes to the room with a smile on his face but it falls once he sees mine. He goes what's wrong where's lani I sit there for a moment and go don't worry about it she's fine but I've got a question for you. He stands there and laughs nervously and says ok. I look him dead in his face and ask how was your boys trip with "SUMMER" his eyes got wide and then he pulls his self together and says who? I wasn't mad until this point he denied knowing the chick and that's what made me mad. I look at him and start yelling for as long as you've known me you know that nine times out of ten when I ask you something I know and you gonna sit here and lie for no reason I have the proof and honestly I'm sick of it because clearly there's nothing you want from me or nothing that I can do for you because you're going and finding it else where so what's the purpose of this marriage just an image or a show and it's crazy because I believed you the first time it happened and I let you get away with it I should have left then but I was young and dumb he's silent so I ask him how long has it been going on and he replies it doesn't matter and I get mad and just ask one more time how long it's been going on and he drops his head and says eight months not exactly sure how it happened but I saw a vase going across the room at him apparently I lost it and threw it. If you were unhappy why didn't you say so this could have ended so much better than this or even been worked out but you decide to do it your own way and it's cost you your family. She can have you I'm fucking done I'm over you and everything else that's connected to you don't say shit to me unless it's about lani. I start heading towards the door and he's still talking but he doesn't follow me I slam the door on my way out and I leave I drive and get to the hotel not sure how I made it there I was zoned out. I'm honestly broken and I just don't even know what to do anymore. I can't even bring myself to cry but I'm sure it's gonna hit me sooner or later. I text Sasha telling her I'll be over tomorrow night to drop off some stuff for lani. She says okay and that's it I took a shower and tried to calm myself down but I couldn't I just sat there couldn't even sleep turned my phone off and everything just keeps playing back in my head I'm legit at a loss but I do know I'm not gonna be stuck on it I'm gonna do better for me and lani I gotta make things right. I end up just laying there looking at the ceiling with no thoughts I don't even feel nothing anymore I roll over and look at the clock and it's seven in the morning I didn't even go to sleep I've just been laying there. I get up and go to the lobby and use their computer and look for apartments I find a few that I'm going to go look at today I print them off and go back to the room and plug up my phone. It turns back on and starts going off like crazy I look at it and make sure it isn't important and it's just messages and missed calls from Adrian guess it stopped after my phone died I blocked his number for the day of course cause we have a child together but I don't want to be bothered by him. I get dressed while my phone charges and do my hair and pull myself together I grab my bag and the papers and head to the car to Sashas house I text her that I'm on the way and to be ready. I pull up to her house I'm not like in a good mood but I'm good you know. I park go inside and say we're going to look at apartments she doesn't say anything she just says okay and then she gets her stuff together and I tell her sit and we discuss what happened last night he denied it I threw stuff at him said that part really fast then started talking about me leaving and so on and she's looks at me and goes now you know I heard you say you threw something at him how you gonna try and skip over that. I laugh and say really it was an accident I threw it after he told me he was messing with that girl for eight months so clearly I wasn't thinking my hands moved faster than my brain. She laughs and says good have you heard from the girl and I say actually yes she text me apologizing because she didn't know he was married she found out and decided to tell me and she broke it off with him. I couldn't be mad with her for being with him because I'm not married to her I'm married to him she don't owe me nothing she didn't even have to tell me. I look up and say enough of this conversation me and lani have a new home to find. We get the car seat out her car and put it in the truck and head out. We drive to the rental place and grab the keys and head to the first apartment we get there it looks kind of nice not like the best but I just want to see what the neighbors are like for the most part. We get inside it's small but big like the rooms are little but the living room and kitchen are really nice. We're walking around and I'm letting lani get a feel for the place and Sashas just standing there quiet and she goes he came by the house last night so I'm like huh and she's like you know. So I look at her and say ok that's fine lol and she's like no he was like hurt hurt he was looking for you he clearly had been crying ion think I've ever seen him like that before I mean I let him in cause I didn't know what else to do and he was talking to me telling me he knew he fucked up for real this time and that there's no going back. Then when lani heard him she woke up and he lost it he was crying and telling her he was sorry and he knew she didn't understand but he wanted her to know that he loves her and that he was sorry. Honestly I don't know what to say but oh because I just don't feel sorry anymore he wasn't sorry when he did what he did and she just says she understands and we go to the next apartment. We pull up to the area and drive the fuck off the apartment looks nothing like the pictures and the apartments around it had wood up to the windows this is not the spot. We go to the next one it's really nice and it has a lot of space and it's in a gated community we go through looking at the area and it's really nice the rooms are a nice size it's close to lanis daycare and I'm not to far from family and friends I think this one is going to be the place. We take the keys back and I apply for the apartment I'll know Monday if I get it so one more day in the hotel and then If I get it I'll start buying little stuff for it I'll make sure lanis room Is good first before I do the entire place. I making plans and don't even have the place. I decided to take Sasha out to eat for riding around with me we went and got Philly cheese steak and steak fries we ate then went and got ice cream on the way taking her back home she asked if lani could stay again and then asked when the last day in my hotel room was I said Sunday she replied not to get another night just stay with her till I get a place. I smile and say thanks but I'm sure when Antonio comes home is not going to want me there she laughs and goes well he can go stay somewhere else then like his apartment but he won't be back for another two weeks so you have time. I smile and say fine I get to her house and we just chill for a little it gets late and I tell her bye and head back to my hotel room for the night. I fall right to sleep for the night I wake up in the morning and cleanup and pack up my things to get ready to check out. Once I got everything in my car I went to the front got a cinnamon roll from their breakfast buffet and checked out on my way to Sashas house I grabbed them breakfast so we could just hang out for the day. I got a call before going over there that I got approved for the apartment and now I'm really excited I get to Sasha house and tell her get ready to help me decorate. I get paid in two weeks so then I can buy furniture for the place I'm going to go put the deposit down and first months rent. I have enough left over to order lani a toddler bed set so I order it. We finish eating then go to pick up the keys we got them and go to the apartment and Sasha says you sure you want to do this I smile and say yes it's fine and she's like you don't want to like process all of this first . I mean you haven't had any emotion and I just want what's best for you. I smile and say I know and I just hug her. We lock up and leave then I tell her I work the rest of this week and have to go to three other stores in the state this month and if I'm not back in time if she will pick up Lani from momma Autumn or Daycare on Thursday and That would be be what's best for me in life and she laughs. We leave to go look around for some stuff just to be looking no one knows what's going on yet to the best of my knowledge so I'm sure it'll stay hush until after lanis party. We spent the rest of the day shopping even tho I wasn't supposed to buy anything lol I did it anyway it's fine. The week seems to move fast it's already Thursday I take lani to daycare and drop her off and let them know someone else will be coming to pick her up. I leave and start the five hour drive to the first store I never did unblock Adrian so I go ahead and do that and the messages start rolling in I ignore most of them and scroll through and see something about lani so I read it. He text this morning asking if he could see lani and I'm sitting here like he dumb as fuck acting like ima keep her away from him so I pull up to the store after thinking about it during that drive I grab my phone and text him back.
Me- uh duh she's your kid too. You'll have to pick her up from Sasha tomorrow night because I'm out of town and work late tomorrow.
Adrian- ok, but I feel like we need to talk.
On that note it's time to go grade this store. I locked my phone and went inside I'm looking for the manager but I can find her and y'all this girl about to get fired cause I found her she back her having sex with one of her employees in the dressing room while on the clock.. That is why surprise visits are important no wonder this store has a bad rating. So I wait and sit on the outside so that she sees me when she comes out. Her eyes get wide when she sees me and she walks right past me to the back so I follow her and she sits down in embarrassment and just doesn't know what to say all she ends up saying is I'm going to get fired huh I say no comment and then go through the rest of the store looking at employees working and how they are doing it and so on I finish up and leave I did the other two stores and went home. I get to Sashas it's nine and I walk in to lani laying with her on the couch and I gasp and say baby girl you cheating on me with your auntie and do a little fake cry and she comes towards me and hugs my legs and I pick her up and toss her in the air and she starts laughing. I put her down and tell Sasha that Adrian is going to pick up lani tomorrow and will have her for the week she says okay. I work at the hospital on Friday through Tuesday. I'm a district manager for the store so I chose to work from home and I work on that when I leave the hospital and then on my off days I do the visits. I go shower and get into some pjs I go get lani and bring her to bed with me and she falls right to sleep she looks so peaceful and I think to myself I did that. I take a quick picture and post it to Instagram with the caption "Nights like these💚". I fall asleep and wake up to my alarm. I get up get dressed make some oatmeal feed lani then get her dressed and then go drop her off at daycare and head to work Sasha was already gone when I got up. I walk into work and it's not as hectic today it's quiet and calm I'm making my rounds when I get a page for a patient that had an allergic reaction to something and they want me to test and see what it was because she had a mix of things in that hour and it took a minute before she started to swell up. So I start to run the test we narrow it down but have her set up to come back in a week and to avoid everything she had today and tell her she could go after the twenty four hour surveillance. I head out go to another patient. I missed my lunch earlier so I'm going to take it a little later. My phone goes off I got a text.
Bestfriend 💚🤞🏽🥰- I heard there was cookies and brownies in the break room.
I head towards the break room and see her and Meilani sitting in there and she goes I just wanted you to see her before ugly comes to pick her up. I laugh and say oo what a nice surprise I pick her up and hold on to her for a little bit and I tell Sasha I'll be right back and I take her to see my supervisor they haven't seen her since like three months after I had her. I said hey look who's here and she turned around and gets soo excited she sticks her hands out and I pass her over she loves babies she's like hold on and she goes to her office why this lady come back with a bag of candy and lani eating gummies talking about I made her a little bag of snacks she's just too cute. I laugh say thank you and take her back to Sasha and says we've got to go he's on his way there to pick her up I say thank you and she leaves I grab a bag and it was FOOD y'all don't know how happy I was to see the food so I sat and ate it and let everyone know there was cookies and brownies in the break room if they wanted any. I finish out the rest of my day then I sit in the truck for thirty minutes just thinking then I head to Sashas I sit and talk to her for a little. I head to bed to prepare for tomorrow. Meilani is with her dad so I have free time. I get up the next morning and clean up the house before I go I wash the sheets and put them back on the bed and then leave. Have to make sure I don't mess up the house. I'm sitting there and I text Adrian.
Me- How's Meilani doing
Adrian- She's good she playing in her room.
I'm really bored and really miss her not sure what I want to do now. I'll go get stuff from the house on Thursday when he's not home. I start to plan lanis birthday I make custom invitations and order them I'll probably pass them out as soon as I get them I'm really excited she turns teo it's been a whole two years with her. Now I'm just sitting here in silence not sure what I want to do. The week went past in the blink of an eye I get lani back today but first I have to go to the house and get some of our things I'll only have her till Saturday morning because momma Autumn wants to see her then I'll get her back on Monday. I get dressed and head over to the house with my mind set on everything I need.
