stomachaches ; lashton

one

ashton's pov

luke sat in between my spread out legs, facing the television in front of us. my arms were gently wrapped around him and my chin sat on his shoulder.

"oh my god, i hate her," the blonde muttered under his breath, pointing to the slutty figure on the screen.

i giggled in response, shaking my head. "why are we watching this then?"

"because it's good! i just fuc-i just hate her," he tells me, i appreciated the way he tried to swear less around me, i didn't care if people swore or not to be honest but it was nice to not hear those words so often.

"i just don't see the appeal so far, lu, but i'll take your word for it i guess," i stated quietly, massaging the other's stomach and hips lightly. the blonde rested his hands on mine, tapping my knuckles lightly from time to time with his calloused fingertips.

"hungry?" he nodded shyly after a few seconds of thinking. it takes him awhile to admit if he's hungry or not after everything that's happened. even if it's been over a year, it sticks with you for awhile. luke is naturally self conscious so i understand why.

"whatcha want?"

again, there was a short silence but the room was soon filled with a quiet voice - luke's - as he requested a sandwich and some water. "but i can make it for myself, you know, i have legs too." i giggled before realizing he was serious.

"what's wrong with me making it for you?" i turned my head and his so we were face to face with each other and stared into his eyes. they weren't watering which was a good sign but they could start to if i wasn't careful with my words.

"i don't want to seem lazy," he said simply, that partially hurt my heart. it didn't seem like a disordered thought to most people but it was. it was just masked as a normal, everyday excuse.

"you won't seem lazy, baby, i know you're not. you work yourself to death, if that's lazy, i can't imagine what i am," i rubbed his back for a minute before standing up and heading into the kitchen.

i quietly opened the filled fridge, it displayed a number of different packages and other things. the nutrition labels were all blacked out, luke would still be looking at them if i hadn't started to do that from the start. i wanted him to trust me, that i won't be like joshua. i won't make him hate himself by making him gain mass amounts of weight for my own pleasure. that's just not right.

there's still times where he seems to think i'm overfeeding him because the serving he gets looks larger than mine to him but i assure him that his serving is below the recommended size.

i get two pieces of bread and set the meats, cheese and lettuce down on one before laying the other slice atop of it all. i finish preparing the meal by grabbing a clear glass from our cupboard and filling it with water.

i look over to see luke watching me work which caused me to giggle quietly again. you could only see him from the bridge of his nose, up. it was almost like he was peeking to see what i was doing even though he knew what i was doing. when i brought the plate and glass over to him, there was a touch of terror in his eyes. he was still afraid of whether or not he'd be able to finish his meals even though there was nary a time he didn't finish.

"here," i said lovingly. he took the plate, a small smile forming on his face. "i've gotta go to the bathroom..don't, and i mean do not, do the water-sip thing. do you understand?" luke nodded, understanding what i meant. taking a drink of water after every bite of food makes you get full faster, it wasn't good for him. i couldn't let him do that.

i slipped into the bathroom, the upstairs one though. the one neither of us use. i was testing him. purging was still a thing he'd attempt to do from time to time. i left the lower bathroom wide open. he had the perfect opportunity to binge and purge for about five minutes. i was just seeing if he would. i finished doing my business then washed my hands in warm water, glancing up at the mirror-well it was more like staring to be honest, i was staring at myself.

i suddenly heard a slight tap at the door followed by a small voice repeating my name twice.

"ashton?"

i unlocked the door and stepped out of the bathroom. "yeah, babe?"

"you've been in there for awhile, sorry."

"sorry, was busy," i said, pulling my eyes away from the mirror and stepping out of the room.

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