The Right Thing To Do

Chapter 35

She couldn't feel anything.

There was a hole inside of her, and every minute another piece fell into the gaping abyss, waiting to swallow her whole.

She had dug herself a grave, and she was content to lie in it.

At six in the morning, Ginny knocked softly on her door. She pushed it open.

"I saw your bag in the hallway," she said. Hermione kept her eyes on her ceiling. "I thought you were staying the night."

"Me too."

The pitter-patter of Ginny's feet on the floor. She climbed into bed next to her.

"What did he do?"

Ginny was on her side, facing her, head propped up on her arm.

"Nothing. He found out about the memories."

Ginny stilled beside her. Hermione kept her unblinking eyes on her ceiling. They were dry and tired.

"Oh."

"And then he asked me to leave."

"Oh."

Hermione swallowed. "You know, at Hogwarts, whenever Harry, Ron and I would do something dangerous or against the rules, I would plan a story in case we were caught. I was always prepared to speak to McGonagall or Dumbledore. Ready to tell them an excuse." Hermione turned to look at Ginny, the blue eyes already on her. "I never thought he would find out. I never considered it. So, I had nothing."

Ginny nodded.

"So, what did you end up saying?"

"'Sorry?'" Hermione chuckled darkly. She shrugged against her pillows, and turned back to the ceiling with a deprecating smile. "I told him I wanted to know him better."

"Does he know you love him?"

Hermione's cheeks flushed and she bit her lip. "No. Every time I have the opportunity, every time he asks me why I've done something for him... I tell him it was the right thing to do."

"Which is basically the same thing for you," Ginny said. Hermione looked at her again, and Ginny gave her a sad smile. "Does this mean you're broken up?"

"We... weren't really together, were we?" Hermione pressed her lips together. She sighed. "We weren't going on dates, or going public with our relationship."

"But that's what you want, yes?" Ginny's eyes were watching her. Hermione nodded. "Does he know that you want that?"

She felt her brows come together. "I... I've been just taking what I can get, honestly." She shook her head.

"Maybe it's time for you to set the rules, then." Ginny was cocking a brow at her. She reminded her of Fred so much then.

"I don't think he wants anything to do with me anymore," she said. "Much less, going public to his staff, who all had to sign that Love Contract business."

She felt Ginny roll out of the bed. "You'll never know until you ask for it."

~*~

She drifted through her Sunday. She went to class with Madame Bernard. She went to Cornerstone. Not a Malfoy in sight.

She went home. Ginny had asked Harry to come over and cook for them, so Hermione tried to be social for a few hours before retiring to bed, finding it exhausting to pretend she was fine and to ignore the lovely way the two of them interacted. Unafraid of being together. In love.