NÁNHÁI

e n o 1

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be like yibo gege

"I want that skateboard!!"

Almost fifteen minutes had passed but Yian and his Papa were in no mood to stop bickering. The mall staff was constantly sweeping glances at them, worried they'd start throwing things at each other.

Yian was stubbornly holding on to that skateboard. The professor was even willing to buy him the most expensive one in the mall only if he'd let go of that one.

A dozen failures but he attempted nonetheless, "You're my good boy, aren't you? Papa will get you anything else, I promise, yeah?"

The man had gone from offering Yian his favourite ice cream to showing him skateboards with far better designs but all to no avail. Yian ignored him, his attention solely on the very skateboard.

"Why won't you listen to me!?" Xiao Zhan lamented at last. He was tired and seriously more annoyed than he'd been when they had first walked in.

"No!" Yian yelled, his cheeks growing red with unsettling rage.

They were like fire on fire, none willing to yield, none ready to water.

"This is the last time I'm asking you Yian. Put the skateboard back or I'm not being any nicer." Xiao Zhan rarely addressed the boy by his name, the icy tone meant worse.

Yian flinched, a visible quake on his form. Discussions were normal but none of this was, his Papa had always been too kind. Shoulders hunched together, he muttered, "No"

"You never let me!" Yian whined, "I wanna be like Yibo Gege but..." He looked up, lips trembling, "Papa's so mean"

Xiao Zhan stiffened and before he could even realize how irresponsibly he was acting, he had already thrown out a cry, "Stop it now", hands snatching the board away, "I warned you, didn't I?" he threw it back on the shelf before dragging the kid out.

Out of all the people on earth, just why that Wang? As if the name constantly on his son's lips wasn't enough, now he even wanted to be like him? Blood rushed to his head, he felt dizzy.

He could only regret, all of his decisions, all of his plans, everything! He should have settled far off, so distant his son would've never known Yibo even existed.

Having Xuan Lu babysit his son for almost 4 years, why was he so desperate? Wasn't this all because of her obsession with Yibo that his perfectly sane little boy had filled their house with nothing but bikes and skateboards? Wasn't it all because he had been so busy making life work that his son could only ever turn to that Wang on TV for engagement? Why had it always been so, just why?

"Papa" Yian whimpered, so close to tears.

Xiao Zhan slowed at that, his steps coming to a halt as he let go of the boy's wrist. Fatigue took over him, guilt rushed together, and he resigned, "Wang Yibo," He muttered, "Why do you like him so much?"

At this point he didn't know, he was feeling insane and at the edge of insanity that was all he could come up with. A futile query to feign mercy, he was pathetic.

"Lulu Jie said I was a lot like him" Yian carefully murmured. 

Xiao Zhan knelt before his son, he could only sigh. He was well aware. Their neighbour & friend Xuan Lu never stopped letting him know. They had the same eyes and the same air, they were so alike, it was almost as if they were related, she would say.

"So is that why you like him?"

Yian shook his head, he took a step forward and fell into his Papa's arms.

Xiao Zhan immediately hugged him back.

"He's cool"

"Handsome"

"He likes legos just like me"

"When he's on the bike, he looks like a hero"

"Baby, you sound like a fangirl" Xiao Zhan exhaled.

"and Papa" Yian broke the hug, completely ignoring his Papa's comment he excitedly exclaimed, "He dances and sings so fast too"

"That's rap baby, he raps." Xiao Zhan corrected, wiping the other's face, he waited for him to go on. Traces of unshed tears right in the boy's eyes, the prof felt guilty.

"Papa?"

"Yeah"

"I'm.. sorry"

Xiao Zhan was surprised. His body warming up as quickly as it had frozen up a while ago.

"My baby.." He cooed, he didn't know what to say.

Wasn't it that Yibo who was darned, that Xuan Lu who was possessed, he who had made mistakes? Why was Yian the one suffering?

Xiao Zhan closed his eyes, opening them up soon enough. After only seconds of pondering, "Let's go buy the skateboard" he decided. He knew he would regret this but so be it, for his son, he would do anything. 

The duo was quickly walking back into the mall.

"Papa, Jiejie said Yibo Gege made it himself, it even has his name on it"

Exactly, Xiao Zhan thought. 

Yian looked happy, almost as if they hadn't just had an episode minutes ago. Xiao Zhan wanted to feel good too but with the familiar sense of insecurity budding in his heart, he was uncomfortable. 

Why is it that he makes you so happy? Why are you making it so obvious, the fact that you're his son, can you not make it so obvious?

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