it was liams bdayyy todayyy so that happened.
and like i said i had to be happy for his special day bcs i didnt want to ruin anything for him but like idk why but i jus couldnt ykno
like im sick of pretending to be happy when im not. but i mean i tried i really did. but ive been having a rlly hard time lately and i lowkey think i ruined his day bcs i wasnt acting happy. i kept having to excuse myself to go to my room and just sit there alone to just think. i have way too many emotions bro but i also feel like i dont. ifykwim
anyways liam noticed i kept leaving so like he followed me to my room and he asked me what was wrong and i said i honestly dk and he was like no whats up tell me and i was like nothings wrong shush ion wna ruin ur special day bro but eventually he persuaded me to tell him whats up.
and honestly i felt guilty bcs like its his bday man and like it should be about him not me crying about my problems yk. idk but like liams amazing hes so understanding and he didnt mind so after dinner we just talked and talked about stuff and im feeling a bit better but idk why im feeling like this lately.
yk like i thought i was out of my depression stage ages ago but its all come back to me now. and i hate it sm bcs i jus wna be happy bro.
like idk ive been having sm arguments with my mum lately and i feel like she hates me and sometimes i say i hate her but then i feel an pang of guilt and im like no i dont hate my mum bcs at least i have a mum bro some poeole dont. ik someone whos mum fkn DIED a few days ago and here i am constantly arguing with mine. like jeez idk i think im terrible bro like idk i need to be more grateful for having her but its so hard when we fight like everyday over every single thing i do.
and thats not even all of it theres stuff going on with my friends and ykno me and liam got into a few fights not long ago and i got family issues and school stress and my whole mental health had juts gone down the fucking drain during the past few weeks so yeah here i am
but yeah this chapter was just a liam appreciation bcs hes the best bf ever so thanks for reading ily all sm stay safe happy and healthy ❤️
