"softly"

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SONG : Softly - Clairo

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"Your hands look cold."

"No, they aren't." Despite this, Alex shivers under the cool autumn night.

"Yeah, you're cold." 

Willie rubs his hands together and gently presses the inner sides around Alex's clenched fists. The act itself is supposed to warm him, but he feels chills down his back from his touch.

"So, bright eyes, where are we going?"

"Oh, you got a nickname for me, do you, hot dog?" Willie snickers.

Alex smiles innocently. "Well, I felt it was only appropriate."

"Bright eyes," Willie comments. 

"I like it."

                                                                                        ~~~

The two of them wander around and enter a little cafe. 

"Wait here," Willie instructs, and poofs out.

Alex walks back and forth in the tiny space he's allowed among all the chairs and people in the cafe. The quiet bustle of the cafe, shared laughter and silent moments remind him of when he used to spend his days camping out in places like these when he got kicked out of his parent's house..

Alex shakes his head. You're not ruining this today.

Willie comes back, a hand carrying a box of donuts and another balancing two coffee cups.

"Shall we?"

They move to a relatively empty spot, hidden from the public.

 "How did you manage to take those without the workers noticing?" Alex asks, impressed as always.

"Let's just say there was a little distraction," Willie says ominously, then laughs. Alex lets out a little laughter of his own, distracted.

"What's wrong?" Willie bites into a sugar coated donut, the crumbs falling onto the table.

"Nothing! Nothing." Alex quickly grabs a cup and almost drops it from the scorching heat.

"Ow!"

Willie immediately rushes to his side. "You good?"

"Yeah, no, it's fine."

Willie opens his hand and find a tiny scar on his pinkie. "Where did that come from?"

"No idea," Alex feigns ignorance. Willie sees the flicker of his eyes, and doesn't push it.

"So, how's the donuts? Good?" 

"Amazing. I haven't had fried dough this good in years."

"Because you were in a black hole."

"Yeah, pretty much."

They laugh, and continue eating in silence.

Alex's mind goes back to the night everything went wrong with his parents. When they looked into his room without his permission, finding a pamphlet for LGBTQ+ support. When they confronted him, and Alex had no choice but to tell them he was gay.

The disappointed look in his mother's eyes as she turns away from him, and the screams of his dad as he asks Alex to pack his bags.

"Alex?"

"Yeah?"

"You're crushing your coffee cup."

Alex looks down and lets go of his hold on the half crushed coffee cup. Black liquid seeps out the seams. He groans in frustrations and throws the cup to a distance, nearly hitting a puzzled passerby.

"I can never do anything right." He starts to shake and silently sobs.

"Hey, it's okay." Willie embraces him and rubs his back until he calms down.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get to emotional."

Willie glances at him for a moment, studying Alex. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

Alex looks away for a brief moment, up at the clouds.

If he could have turned into a cloud when he died, just drifting aimlessly in the sky, that would have been much better. Alex hated his overanxious mind, and he feared that letting people know his thoughts would scare them away.

But he believed Willie wouldn't.

"My parents kicked me out when they knew I was gay."

Willie nods, reassuring him to continue.

"They were always crazy religious, but we were so close I thought that.. I thought we could get through anything. I was scared to tell them, but one day the truth just came out. They crossed the line. I was upset. I wish.."

Willie holds his hand, stroking his little scar.

"I wish things didn't turn out the way it did."

Alex looks back at Willie for a response.

"I don't think there's ever a perfect moment to tell someone about your sexuality. I also think that you don't have to come out if you didn't want to. I'm sorry it happened like that."

"Thank you." 

They sit, staring at the flurry of people rushing for work and school. The silent moments within Willie and Alex seem comfortable, almost peaceful.

"You know, I never came out to anyone when I was alive," Willie says.

"Really?"

"Yeah. I didn't feel like I needed the world to know. I just liked whoever I liked. I felt like some people at school knew, though."

"What made you think that?"

"Sometimes I would get random notes in my locker after school with the words "gay" in different fonts. It was funny to me, but I knew the person doing it didn't mean it in a positive way."

"That's so shitty."

"Yeah, well."

Alex holds out the last donut from the box. "You want it?"

"You can have it."

"You've been staring at it. I know you want the last piece."

"I was not-" Alex pops the donut into Willie's mouth, and he laughs. "Thanks."

"You know.. you just fed me."

Alex stutters. "No- I-"

"Yeah, you did." Willie grins mischeviously at the blonde, and swallows the donut.

Alex nestles into Willie's shoulder, interlacing their hands together.

"Thank you for the donuts."

"Thank you for feeding me." 

Alex blushes.

The wispy clouds in the sky drift by. The street is less crowded.

Maybe I don't want to be a cloud, he thinks.

Being beside Willie feels right.

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I know ghosts can't really eat in the show but we're pretending they can in this one haha

I will probably be writing most of my one shots based on songs that remind me of Willex. If you have any song ideas let me know! <3

- ajy

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