War of the Roses

26. Magic Moments

"What would you have done different?" She asked.

"Everything, but to start to give you an idea, this..." and he kissed her. His hands held each side of her face in adoration and tenderness.

She decided to enjoy the moment, the warmness released by his body felt good and everything made sense. His soft lips made sense, the way her heart jumped next to his made sense. God have made them for each other and in that moment they knew.

They broke the kiss to reach for some air but his hands still held her face in fear to loose her.

"I love you." He said, not thinking about it for a second, his heart was speaking and he was allowing it. "I loved you since the day I first saw you here, I fought my heart for so long and I don't want to do that anymore."

"How can you be so sure?" She asked, her eyes looked deep into his eyes attempting to read deep in his soul.

"Is the fear to loose you, to not see you again. The torture of a day without you that made me come to face with my real feelings." He said, this time he wasn't holding a thing, it was time to open up or lose her forever, as he promised himself to let her make the decision to return home with him or stay in Kalon. He wanted her, yes, but more than anything he wanted her to feel the same way. His days as king made him realize one thing: in love like in politics you can only have what you can keep. More than anything he wanted to keep her, on her own will, as that's the only real way to have someone.

"I don't know if you will one day leave Alice behind, and I don't blame you, you two had a relationship before I came into the picture, I'm not the kind of women who shares her husband. I know that as king you have the right to have as many mistresses as you wish, but please don't expect me to be accepting of that, I just can't."

"I don't want anyone but you, I don't want Alice or anyone else because they're not you, they don't have your eyes, your smile. No one has that light in their eyes when they smile like you do."

"Philip you have no idea how much my heart wishes to believe in you, but every time I do something happens."

"Nothing will happen this time, I promise you. Alice is been sent away as we speak. Neither you or I will be seeing her again."

"Do you love her?" She had to ask the question which answer terrified her to death, but she needed to know in order to even think of opening up to Philip.

"Yes, I do. But I'm not in love with her. For many years I was convinced she was the woman for me, we went through so many happy and sad times that there was no doubt in me that she was the one. Until one day, in this same place my eyes captured what at the moment I believed to be part of a dream and I'm not talking about your beauty which in fact left me speechless, but there was more, something was making me to be drawn to you and in that moment I questioned everything.  I hated myself for feeling this way towards someone other than Alice, I struggled handling the fact that a complete stranger was making me feel that way, then like a coward I hated you, at least that's what I wanted to make myself believe. I hated how perfect you where inside and out, how composed, elegant, educated and knowledgeable you were. My father was right, you were the perfect queen, he was right and I was wrong and I was too arrogant accept it. I was so drawn to you that in my mind the best thing to do was to keep myself away from you as much as possible. I felt like I was cheating on Alice, that's how bad it was. She knew something was different I could feel it, so I tried to be extra caring with her and nothing seemed to work. The more I pushed you away the more I needed you, at some point I thought I was going mad. I know I hurt you, more than once, you have no idea how much I wish to have the power to change that and I know is probably too late, but I still needed to tell you everything and it feels incredibly good now, you have my heart in your hands, do as you wish."