The Search for Serenity

8 - Care

- Toby -

I hold my phone in my hands. Just as I have for the last twenty minutes trying to think of how to text Alice. I don't want to sound like a complete loser, nor do I want to be super formal.

Who would have thought sending a simple text would be so difficult?

I type the words 'Hey starer, it's Toby' and squint at the words as the blinking cursor stares me down, almost mockingly. I furrow my brows and decide to add a smiley at the end, my finger hovering over the send button.

Just send the darn text.

"Boo!"

I startle, head turning to fast it pulls on my neck uncomfortably. I spot Delilah with a blanket over her head and chuckle, wondering what sort of game her imagination has conjured up today. From the looks of it, she's being a ghost.

Deciding to play along, I tap a finger on my chin. "Hm, that's funny, I thought I heard Delilah somewhere, Such a shame she's not here to receive a little gift—"

As soon as the words leave my mouth, she throws the blanket off, her curly hair in disarray and sticking up in all angles. Her eyes are wide as they glimmer with excitement. Hopping up and down, she almost squeals, "You drew Crumbs for me, didn't you?"

I nod, smiling at her enthusiasm. "I did, would you like to see?"

"Yes, yes, yes! Of course!" She jumps up onto my bed as I grab my sketchbook from my pillow. I open it up to her requested drawing, tearing out the page and handing it to her, watching as the biggest smile spreads across her face while her wide eyes drink in the image. She looks up at me, her green eyes shining with joy.

The sight of her happiness makes me smile. Before I can say anything else, she puts the drawing down and stands up on my bed, squeezing me into a love-filled hug.

"Thank you, Toby, you're the best brother in the world of brothers." She speaks quietly. I wrap my arms around her small frame, hugging her back.

The feeling of her care fills me with a warmth that I never got from my parents growing up. I just hope I can be that same warmth for Delilah.

This is what I live for, what I fight for.

- - -

A silence resonates through the house as the life of night awakens. Dad left for another business trip an hour ago, so no one is here for mom to argue with. A part of me is glad he's gone for the rest of the week, but there's a part of me that aches for mom with the suspicion that this isn't just another business trip, I can only hope I'm wrong.

The first time I caught a whiff of dad's suspicious behaviour was four months ago when he came home without his wedding ring on, a rumple in his clothes. He had no explanation when mom confronted him other than a 'must have forgotten it today'.

What kind of man forgets his wedding ring?

It only excelled from there. I've overheard confrontations about secret calls. Makeup smudges around his collar. Spontaneous gifts for mom. And yet, that isn't even the core of mom and dad's dysfunction as a pair.

I sit alone by my partially open window listening to the low whistle of the wind through the trees and the sounding of an owl echoing in the darkness from some unknown place. I glance up at the bright moon, my sketchpad in one hand and a pencil in another as I draw the scenery of the still night. The streetlamps cast an orange glow along the sidewalk, an occasional cat or stranger walking by.

I reflect back on today's events as I busy myself and Alice comes to mind. From what I've gathered already, she's a nice girl, a bit on the shy side, but she's been nothing but kind and considerate to me so far. I have no expectations, though, I refuse to. There will be a day where she walks away. We lose everyone one way or another.