Save Me

Chapter 22 (last chapter)

CHUUS POV

*A year later*

Yves and I have been back together for a year and a half and it has been the best time of my life. It feels like my life has meaning again. Yves and I have our own place, we decided to get a place of our own since our roommates are extremely nosy and we also felt like it was time for us to be on our own. The only downside of our relationship is that Yves has had really severe depressive episodes lately, she also started to self harm again she started back up with it a few months after we moved on our own I talked to her about it and she told me she was off her antidepressants. After our talk she stopped for several months but last month when we were getting intimate I saw new ones. It saddens me because she is the kindest most beautiful soul and she shouldn't be hurting like this. "Are you thinking about Yves?", Olivia asked sitting down next to me. I invited her over since Yves was at school "Yup! Is it me am I doing something wrong for her to feel this way?", I asked sadly. "You have done nothing wrong, don't blame yourself ! You are an amazing girlfriend to her, it's just sometimes she loses herself and it takes some time for her to be okay again, but until then all you can do is just love and support her through it.", she said reassuring me. "I just feel like I can be doing more for her", I said frustrated with myself. "When I first saw one of Yves depressed episodes I felt the same way you do, I thought maybe it was something I said or did, and I felt like I wasn't doing my job as her best friend to cheer her up or to help her. Don't get upset with yourself for not knowing how to go about this, it's hard  we've know each other since we were kids and sometimes I still don't know how to address it.", Olivia said. I nod and sigh knowing she was right "Just know since she has been with you she has gotten better, like 100x better. It may not feel like it but it's true, you are the best thing that has happened to her, and I'm sure you feel the same way about her", she said. "I love that girl so damn much. The love I feel for her as cliche as it sounds is a love I've only every read about or have seen I'm films." I said expressing my love for Yves. "Okay that was cliche but it was cute, just keep loving her the way you do", Olivia said patting my thigh. "Hey beautiful girl", I look and see Yves walk into the house. "Hi my love", I said putting my arms out for her to come sit on my lap. She sets her stuff down with a big smile and sits down as well as giving me a kiss. "You guys are gross for being cute", Olivia said fake gagging. "You're one to talk this is how you are with gowon but times 10", Yves teased. "Okay that's rude because it's untrue and are you guys coming out with us to the café?", Olivia asked grabbing her keys. "Yeah we'll be there, it will be nice to get out of the house", I answered before Yves could protest. "Okay, I'll see you guys tonight then", Olivia said before leaving. "Do we have to go? I'm not really in the mood for people besides you of course", she said smiling. "Yeah it will be fun for the both of us, and we get to see all of our friends", I said hoping she'd change her mind "As much as I would love to stay in tonight, I'm giving in just for you", she said kissing the tip of my nose. "Thank you princess", I said hugging her tightly. "Can we talk about something really quick?", she asked moving from my lap to beside me. "Yeah of course", I felt a knot in my stomach as I said that. "Thank you for being patient with me, I'm sorry if it seems like I'm pushing you away. The same insecurities I had when I broke up with you are the same ones I have right now. I love you so much and I feel like I'm pushing you away. You are an amazing person and I'm soooo lucky to have you as my girlfriend, but I don't deserve you. I don't want to keep pushing you away, but I can't help but do it because you are too perfect for me and I don't want to hurt you.",  she said holding my hands while tears came out. "You can push me away, you can push me off a cliff, you can push me out of earth and I will accept that because I know you deserve everything in the entire world. Honestly I don't deserve you, you are first of all stunning beyond compare, and because you are an amazing person although you are a very reserved person you are also an intriguing person that I have the privilege of learning about everything single day. Trust me when I say you aren't hurting me by pushing me away babe, I will be whatever you need me to be to help you get through this.", I said cupping her face and wiping her tears. "This is why I don't deserve your love", she said with a sad smile. "I love you so much words can't describe how much I love you", I said pulling her into a hug "I love you the most", we sit in the crook of the couch and I cuddle her until she falls asleep. I hate seeing her like this, her smile is there but rarely comes out and her eyes are full of pain as though she wants to give up. She is drained mentally and physically and I just wish she could see herself through my eyes, so she knows how perfect she is to me no matter what.