Situationship II: Jacob's story [LGBT+] [mxm]

1. Jacob

Jacob took a look at his mobile phone. Nothing. Not even a single text message. "I'm the one to blame for thinking he would actually text me!" he accused himself, frowning. The twenty-two-year-old boy, still imbued with a relatively large dose of post-teenage innocence, believed that Orestis, whom he had been seeing occasionally, cared about him. Unfortunately, all the evidence proved him wrong.

Jacob was gay, which he realised when he graduated from junior high school. He was proud of himself, but there were several moments when he felt melancholic and desperate. He had gradually stopped feeling satisfied with all the things he was supposed to enjoy due to the enormous loneliness that resided in his heart. He had not managed to build any serious and long-lasting loving relationships. Of course, he was not sure to what extent it was possible that a relationship between men in Greece could develop, since all the gays he knew had had short relationships and were constantly changing sex partners, thus having mastered in vulgarity after a long-term education as sex machines. Neither this fact nor the social inequalities that existed at the expense of homosexuals were particularly reassuring.

Nonetheless, he was trying to be optimistic and wanted to believe that his sexuality would not pose an obstacle to his happiness. He hoped that, albeit gay, he would be able to share his life with the right guy. What the young boy needed was stability. He had tried to be serious about his acquaintances, but they hadn't brought significant results so far. In addition, he hated the insecurity with which he was overwhelmed because of his current partner, Orestis. Orestis, a thirty-four-year-old good-looking man, sometimes seemed somewhat reluctant to communicate with Jacob frequently and formalise the situation between them. They only spoke to schedule their next meeting, which usually included erotic encounters, except for the rare occasions when they might go out for a walk or coffee. And while Orestis was generally behaving sweetly and lovingly towards Jacob, he didn't seem to be interested in anything more substantial. "He may not believe in relationships or feel ready to make a big step in his life," Jacob had presumed.

But no matter how justifiable this behaviour could be, the young boy was hoping for something better. After all, they had known each other for several months and so enough intimacy had already developed between them. It had been quite a period that Jacob had been thinking of ways to approach him emotionally. He tried doing it discreetly but didn't get a response from the other side. They had not talked for over a week, yet Orestis wouldn't make a single phone call.

"I've had enough! It's time for the truth!" he decided. He would clearly ask him what he wanted to know about. He would talk to him about his needs directly and ask him if he was willing for them to become a normal couple. In the worst-case scenario, he would say 'no'. Easy come, easy go...

Of course, this kind of conversation should be made face-to-face, but Jacob was young and impatient. He would ask him on the phone. He had to go outside to make sure that his parents would not hear anything, either accidentally or deliberately. His parents didn't know anything about his sexual identity and, even if they knew, he wouldn't like to share any personal details with them. He immediately dressed up and stood in front of the mirror to tame his hair. It looked really untidy. He tried to squeeze them using hair gel but he didn't have the patience needed to do it properly. In the end, he got his mobile, headphones and keys and pulled the handle of the door.

It was a beautiful autumn day of October, an absolutely proper day for a walk. Of course, no matter what the weather was like, Jacob walked almost every day. He considered it a good way to unleash his tension. Always accompanied by his headphones, he would turn the music on and start jogging. This way, he achieved two things: he both exercised – albeit slightly – and temporarily banished the thoughts that disconcerted his mind. The restless spirit of his youth wouldn't let him calm down. He was constantly cogitating; there was always something troubling him. In general, it is wise to be concerned about life and the future, to be thinking whether we have done everything right and to set goals, but sometimes we push ourselves so much that, in the end, we get blocked. That was the case with Jacob.

Before reaching the jogging track of his neighbourhood, the young man found Orestis' name on his contact list and called him. He was pretty anxious. His intensity reached a peak while waiting for him to pick up. However, he believed that his voice couldn't come out when he would hear his lover on the other end of the line. He kept waiting for a whole minute but Orestis was definitely not answering the phone. The boy got frustrated and ended the call.

"Let him call me back when he sees my missed call!"

He put on his headphones, chose the playlist he wanted to listen to and speeded up.