BLUE | john lennon

chapter nine - i only have eyes for you

John watched as the artist's paintbrush moved across the almost finished canvas. The scene of the lake was almost complete, which would contrast the green meadow filled with flowers beautifully. The concentrated face the young artist was wearing amazed John. His friend's eyes were squinted as if trying to see every pixel he was painting, and his lips involuntarily parted slightly, breathing quietly. The auburn-haired man was in awe of his new friend, amazed at how he painted so gorgeously and effortlessly. Such a unique man, and John was glad to have befriended him.

The last few weeks were lonely and upsetting for John. The world was out to get him; he was sure of it. Each day only brought him emptiness, a void he could not fill no matter what he did. That was until he met Stuart. It was as if the universe decided he dealt with enough misery and sent him Stuart from the heavens. If that was the case, he was grateful for that outcome because Stuart was someone he didn't know he needed. The older man understood him in a way that, lately, no one else did. They would go on tangents for hours about topics that neither would speak about to anyone else. Stuart was wise for his age and an old soul. He helped John out more than John enabled him. John's problems seemed to lessen, and his happiness started to rise, so he was more than thrilled for his new mate.

The inseparable two would've spent even more time together if his older friend was single. Unfortunately, he wasn't. John didn't bother to remember the girl's name as she wasn't necessary to him. The brunette haired bird he would see sometimes hugging or kissing Stuart always made him roll his eyes. One reason being he hated anything to do with love now. The thought or idea of it made him angry for a reason John did not know of. Second, that bird of Stuart's always kept him away from him. John couldn't control his jealousy sometimes, even with friendships. Any person that drove his friends or partner away from him automatically made him hate them. He couldn't help that side of him. It would just be easier if Stuart were a girl, then he could fuck her and marry her. They would've made a hell of a couple, John thought.

"Done," Stuart muttered to himself. John took himself out of his thoughts as he heard that and looked at the finished canvas. Beautiful, John thought. The lake seemed so realistic, so realistic that he felt he could jump and swim in it and then finish the day off with a nude run in the meadows. Now that would be better than this shit he's living in right now.

John took his hand and placed it on Stuart's shoulder. "Looks amazing, Stu. Really, it does. Ready to leave now? We've got to get back to my place before Elaine and Paul get there."

Stuart drew out a heavy, long sigh, closing his eyes as he did, his face contorting to an expression where he looked utterly disappointed and sorry. "I'm sorry, John. I can't. Sadie and I have a date thirty minutes from now. I— I forgot. I'm sorry. I should've remembered."

"Don't worry about it. It's fine." That's what he told Stuart, but he wanted to tell him off for leaving him to deal with Elaine and Paul all alone. Stuart promised he would be there the whole time with him, knowing specifically how hard it would be for John to be in the same room as Elaine and Paul. But so much for promises, right? Suppose they don't mean a damn thing. But then John physically couldn't tell Stuart off. Being an artist, the older man was sensitive as hell to anything. And Stuart was genuine with the apology, so why yell at him for no reason?

Stuart sighed. He knew his friend wasn't okay and that he covered his emotions well. He knew his friend wanted to cuss him out for failing him and breaking his promise. There was a big part in Stuart that was grateful for that - not having to hear John angry with him - he'd be too sensitive to his harmful vocabulary. All he could do was console his bordered friend. "I'll be there at the next session, okay? I pr—I won't let you down, really. And you'll be okay on you're own, John. I know you will. Say hi to Elaine and Paul for me, okay?"