Let Me Redeem [Completed]

You disgust me

He climbed back the stairs, Bilal pacing agitatedly back and forth the lounge, Sasha trying to calm him down, Rafay leaning against the railing, looking between the two.

Bilal started at him once he saw Hadi, and barked, "What the fuck was that?"

"Hadi, why did you back off?" Sasha said.

"Shut up, Sasha," Hadi snapped, his head was beginning to hurt, "you disgust me. Where was your fucking feminism when you brought her here?"

Sasha looked taken aback. "What-I-no!" She sputtered. "Don't you dare take this out on me. You were the one who promised-"

"But I never meant it! I never intend to act on it! And I would never ever have tossed her infront of him. I couldn't have let her be fucking raped by my own best friend. Fuck you Sasha, for bringing her here."

"Why, wanted to get yourself into her, did you?" Bilal retorted, his nostrils flaring.

He clenched his jaw. "You better forget about this."

"Or what you fucking bastard. You got fucking sidetracked! You promised me and now you want her for your own fucking self. What did she do, give you a glimpse of her pussy or-"

Hadi clenched his jaw, a muscle twitched in his cheek. He didn't realise he had fisted his hands until his nails began to dig into his palms. He swallowed, and then regarded Bilal with a cold stare. "I love her" He said, his voice dead silent, unable to take it anymore, shaking with anger. "Is that enough reason for you, or is it still not enough, because you don't even fucking know what that means."

Bilal was shocked to say the least, it was like someone had given him a death blow, and he didn't know how he was supposed to have recovered from that.

Sparing him a last glance, Hadi went down the stairs.

The night still hadn't come to an end.

---

The crisp wind seeped into his bones as he waited in the shadow.

It was after thirty minutes when he was beginning to lose hope, that he saw her stepping in through the gate looking disheveled and in a state of mess. She said something to the guard who nodded and went out himself. Taking small uneven steps she walked on the gravel path and once she reached the hostel building the female guard on duty handed her the scarf Hadi had returned. She turned around for a moment looking alarmed, and then walked away, turning into a corridor and disappearing out of sight.

Hadi sighed as he dropped his head into his hands, gripping his hair in the fists. It was the last time he saw her.

---

The night crawled, minute after minute, hour after hour, like emptying an entire bucket of water with a spoon. Such was the rate, such was the agitation. Her entire body was shivering uncontrollably, muscles twitching, breathing ragged. She balled her fingers into a fist and tried to shove it into her mouth, but it wouldn't fit, wouldn't stop her from shaking.

It was trust that had come crumbling down into ashes, into mere chunks of rubble, like grains of sand, minute, but still there. It was the horror of being raped that was slowly fading, becoming a thing from the past. It was the agony of being deceived, being thrown into a deep well; dry and dark, by the person you trusted, you confided in, you thought was enough, and above all, the person you loved. And it was trust all over again. It can not stand on its own, after being shattered, being put on fire, it always needs support, needs to be held up until it can stand on its own. And it's not easy, and sometimes simply not possible, because it's not the sky that exists without support, forever, and for all eternity, not at least until the world itself comes crumbling down.

The sun was up, spreading its light all over the sky that hovered above all humanity, erasing all spaces of the darkness that prevailed only some time before. It wasn't easy to sleep, even with eyes closed, she didn't find herself in the abyss. It was people everywhere, no solitude, no silence, the city that had remained quiet was now full of vigor, and the city Mirha had come to take refuge in, she was beginning to hate - its people and its streets.

Fahad Jibran was the one she found herself with, in the next few hours, asking of him for a three week break. It was out of the question, he said, asking her to be more professional. She didn't want to resign, she couldn't, for it paid Mirha to put food on the table for her family. Her uncle was too weak to work anymore, and the wages her brothers earned was only enough to provide with basic accessories.

It was her profound helplessness that made her stick to the place owned by the person she now resented. But desperation was biting into her bones, she wanted to go home, wanted to be with the people she belonged with. Fahad Jibraan agreed to give her the weekend and Friday off as well, as a favor, he said, maybe because he saw through her, empathized with the condition she was in. But Mirha didn't care anymore, she hated everyone now. He asked her to report to the deputy director himself before leaving, so she went to Owais Maher next. He sounded comparatively more pleasant than he was the other day. Maybe he had gotten a better contract, or maybe a new employee, she didn't know, and she didn't care. At least not anymore.

Mirha told him about taking a break, promised it was the only time she was asking for it. He didn't look pleased about it, though he didn't say it was a warning too. Relieved, she asked him if he would tell Hadi she resigned, only if he asked anything about her, though she knew he wouldn't, she just wanted to make sure.

Owais Maher was puzzled at the request, his eyebrows knitted, but didn't look up from the glazing screen of his laptop, and asked, amused, to Mirha's utmost discomfort, "Why? Did you two have a fight?"

No. Your brother just threw me in front of his friend. Picked up too, so he could be the hero, she wanted to say, but didn't because she didn't want to be rude, she hadn't been rude to anyone ever before.

"No." She instead said quietly.

"Okay." He nodded, too non-chalant to really care, to pry.

"You'll do that?" She asked once again.

"Sure."

Mirha left after that, got a ticket for the bus, and travelled for an hour and half, seated beside the only other woman in the bus. As the sun slowly descended towards the east, she found herself at home, and when she knocked on the door, her sister was the one who answered. At her sight, Mirha broke down and all the barriers she'd tried to put up shattered completely.

It's been a close call from losing herself to one of the torments of the world after all.

---

Don't forget to vote people