To Say These Words

Chapter Eight

As she softly tiptoed out the door she glanced back into the room. It was the room she shared with her son. The walls had been painted a soothing shade of green, the crib sat at the foot of her bed; the curtains muted the light that shone through the windows.

Rachel shut the door behind her, sighing exasperatedly. Cameron was finally down for a nap, after much protest.

It seemed like the older he grew the more time he wanted to socialize with the group. Especially now that he was crawling and learning to walk, exploring the giant world he had been brought into.

Rachel was overjoyed that her friends were there for her. With them around, the past months had been less stressful than she had expected. They had truly been there every step of the way.

As she meandered across the room her feet treaded from the wooden floor to the soft rug. She plunked onto the sofa, blissfully sinking into the comfortable depths of the cushions.

Monica had been courteous enough to let Rachel continue to live in apartment 20. Maybe it was secretly to be able to spend time around Rachel's baby, or maybe it was solely because she was a good friend. Rachel didn't care what Monica's reasoning was, she was thankful.

As her eyes scanned the room, Rachel was reminded of how much Cameron had grown. She realized he was no longer a newborn; he was almost one year old. The stages of his life were portrayed by the many photos around the room. Some included her friends, some were only him, but Monica had made sure to display the many pictures they had taken of him.

It was painfully obvious that the pictures were missing a very important friend. Of course, Ross could not be in the pictures when he hadn't been home to take any. He was on the other side of the world, still. He phoned them, he emailed, he chatted on the webcam, they watched him on TV. It wasn't like he was missing from their lives entirely.

Rachel only wished she had a moment to get the truth off her chest, the truth that Mark had left. She wanted to stop having to lie to Ross about it. It was getting to the point where she wanted to break the news over the phone. However, she knew that that was not the way to do it; she couldn't give him a reason to return to New York and not live his dream.

She shook her head, trying not to think about Ross. She missed him more with each passing day. She was so proud he'd found success, but she wished he'd come home for a visit. She longed to see him in person, they all wanted to talk and laugh as a group once again.

"Rach?" Monica whispered from across the coffee table. Rachel hadn't noticed Monica had crept over, she wondered how long she had been standing there.

"Oh, hey Mon," Rachel answered, snapping out of her daze. She watched as Monica stepped around the table, taking a seat beside her.

"I was thinking: Cam's first birthday is coming up in a few weeks, so I wanted to ask you... can I plan the party?" Monica questioned in a low voice that was bursting with excitement. She had her hands clasped pleading in front of her.

Monica had already dreamed of the perfect party, complete with food she would cook herself, and the apartment decorated in a theme fit for the wonderful little boy they were celebrating. Not to mention the fact that she would invite Rachel's family and friends to surround Cameron with all the love he deserved.

"Um... I guess," Rachel answered, giving it a bit of thought. "But it better be special, I mean, it is his first birthday."

Rachel's uncertainty prompted Monica to place a comforting hand on her friend's knee.

"Don't worry Rach. I promise it will be special," Monica stated, with a smile.

If only Rachel knew how truthful Monica was being.