To Say These Words

Chapter 11

After work, Ross felt drawn to Monica's apartment. He couldn't help but feel as if he needed to see Cameron; he wanted to either confirm or disprove his suspicions.

He had stayed concentrated on his work all day, even when his mind wanted to wander. Now his thoughts about Cameron raced back to him. Ross needed to find out more about him. It weighed on his chest, and made his heart pound to consider the possibilities.

When he reached the familiar apartment door, he didn't hesitate before walking in. Monica was alone with Cameron, they were watching TV together.

"Hey Ross," Monica greeted, turning on the couch to wave at her brother.

"Hey Mon, hi Cameron," Ross answered in turn.

"So how was work?" Monica asked. She got up from the sofa to join Ross in the kitchen. Cameron ignored the grown-up talk; he was used to doing so.

"It was, uh, good," Ross answered distractedly. He glanced over at Cameron who continued to tune them out.

"He's a good kid, isn't he?" Monica asked, seeing where Ross' attention lay.

"He is," Ross stated firmly.

"He's so quiet, but such a bright kid. And he certainly has Rachel's kind heart," Monica rambled. She loved Cameron as if he were a part of her family. Ross took a moment to absorb her words, but they only sparked his desire to get a few things off his chest.

"I only wish I could have been around more," Ross admitted in a low voice. He stared at his shoes in regret. The more he thought about Cameron being his son, the more he wished he'd been around.

"Don't do that to yourself Ross," Monica pleaded, causing Ross to look at her with glassy eyes. "You know you didn't have a choice."

"But I did have a choice. I could have stayed. Mark left her and then I chose to leave too," Ross admitted in a whisper. It was the first time he'd ever thought that way. He glanced up again only to watch Monica's face immediately twist into anger.

"You are not at all like Mark. You did not abandon your child," Monica fumed. Her words put a lump of guilt in Ross' throat.

"Can I confess something?" Ross questioned. His nervous appearance melted Monica's icy glare, she could tell something was on his mind.

"Sure..." She responded hesitantly.

"Maybe in the hall?" Ross suggested, gesturing to the door.

"Okay," Monica told Ross, before turning to Cameron. "Cam, we'll be in the hall for one second, alright?"

"All right," Cameron responded without looking away from the TV screen.

Monica followed Ross into the hall, leaving the door slightly open behind them.

"What's up Ross?" Monica asked curiously.

"I don't know how to say this but, um, Rachel and I slept together the night before I left the first time," Ross began, gauging Monica's reaction as he spoke. Her eyes were wide with shock.

"She never told me that..." Monica confessed, crossing her arms.

"That's not all. I think Cameron could be mine," Ross admitted quietly.

Monica just brought a hand to her mouth, speechless. She had almost declined his suspicion, but it hit her; it made sense. She had always wondered where Cameron got a few of his personality traits, now it was clear.

She had a feeling Ross was right.

.....

The office was quiet; many people had already left for the night. It was an eerie silence, to say the least – it was a stark contrast to the floor that always seemed to be full of life. Rachel had a few more tasks to finish then she herself would get to go home.