WDICSM Book 2

Numb

DD: You alright?
Dave: Yeah
DD: Lemme know when ur ready to see me mk
Dave: Come whenever you want :)
DD: U sure
Dave: Yeah
DD: Be there soon then

"How dare you leave me?" Joel joked.
"I'm not, promise." I chuckled.
"Good. 'Cause I'm not done with you." He grinned, putting his hand on my chest.
I glanced at the door, knowing the nurse would come in any moment with my test results.
"I don't think—" I began.
He pressed his finger to my lips. "Shh. Relax."
He waved his hand toward the door, I assume putting a sensor outside to detect anyone coming, and kissed me. He broke away after a few seconds, waiting for some sign to keep going. I hesitated for a moment, thinking, then kissed him back, running my fingers through his hair. I quickly forgot that anything else existed. I was completely gone. There was nothing else. Just me and him.
I was lying there for what felt like hours, aware of nothing but him. His lips on mine, his hands on my head, his heart pounding against my chest...
* vomits *
"'Sup, lovebirds?" DD chuckled.
I jumped out of my skin and we shoved each other away.
"Jesus." I breathed.
Joel hastily sat up and moved to the end of the bed, away from me.
DD smiled at us. "You guys are cute."
I sat up and wrapped my arms around my stomach, just glad it was him and not the nurse or anything.
"Uh... What's— What's up?" I stuttered.
He walked up to me and gave me a hug. "You alright?"
"I told you before." I murmured. "I'm fine. Everything's fine."
And that was when the nurse came in. And the doctor.
I knew this was gonna be bad.
"Uh, Joel, DD, could you go stand out in the hall for a moment?" I asked.
They both nodded, looking nervous, and left the room. And I sat there on the bed and listened as they explained to me all the different kinds of bacteria, viruses and toxins they'd found in my blood.
"Most of these are completely treatable." The doctor told me. "But there's one that's gonna be a lot harder to fix. Maybe impossible. And it'll make the others more difficult to treat as well."
My heart skipped a beat. I knew exactly what he was about to tell me.
He looked at me solemnly and showed me the chart. "You have HIV."
My brain disconnected from reality. Everything felt like a dream. Nothing was real anymore.
He spoke to me a little more but I didn't take in a word of it. My logic knew that I would be fine. That I could live with this. But my logic was fast asleep. All that was left was my emotional brain. And my emotional brain was screaming in pain. Everything was over. I was going to die.
When Joel and DD came back in, I had to force myself to reconnect. To pretend I was fine. That everything was okay.
"There are some issues, but it's all treatable." I told them. "I'm gonna be fine."
Now that I was back in reality, I could believe it myself. This could be controlled. This could be treated. It just couldn't be cured.
But still, I wanted to collapse in someone's arms. Just scream and cry and kick out like a baby. I felt like I needed that. But I also didn't want to tell anyone. I didn't want them to worry about me. I didn't want them to feel bad for me. I didn't want them to make a big deal out of it.
I didn't want them to know. At all. Ever.
But I knew I had to tell at least someone. I decided that person would be Amber. And maybe, someday, if I felt like they should know, I would be able to tell my family. Maybe not my parents. I felt like they would worry about me too much. But at least my sister. But I wasn't ready for that yet.
I knew it was selfish. I knew it was unrealistic. But part of me was hoping, despite knowing how long and hard humanity had fought to cure this virus, that Amber could do it. She could figure out a way. Because she could do anything, at least in my mind. She was absolutely brilliant.
And she was all I had. I didn't have any other option. She was my last hope.
At this point, Joel was sitting on my lap to comfort himself and DD was pacing back and forth. If they were this nervous about some stupid curable viruses, there was no way I could ever tell them.
But... what if I already had it? I thought. What if this didn't come from the injection? More importantly... is there a chance I've spread it to anyone?
If I had caught it from DD, then I didn't have to worry about giving it to him. The only person with a chance of getting it was Violet.
This was another thing I was stupidly hoping Amber could figure out.
Eventually they both had to leave so they didn't get infected with all those bloody illnesses I had now.