Dirty Little Secret

Arguments and Alarm

Nicolas' POV

       I hiccup was I cry, my tears falling into my mouth but I don't care. This is the first time Jason has said something to me and he just feels so..., mean.

     "What do you mean Benny left you?" He asks me, but I don't answer, not wanting to talk anymore.

     I had a good day not talking to him because whenever I see him and see that bad look in his eyes I know that it's all my fault that he hates me and doesn't want to talk to me anymore. I don't want to hear him say it.

    I hear him move and I go to step out of the way, my hands coming up to hide my face in my hand so he can walk away.

    I jump when I feel his hands on my shoulders, the contact making my body shiver form his touch and I whimper low in my throat, hating but loving the way his touch feels. It's so so wrong. I should hate it and ignore it, but the feeling of his hands on me makes me already begin to feel better.

     "What do you mean Benny left you?" He asks again, his hands still on me. I gnaw on my lip, tasting salty tears as I sniffle and explain.

     "Benny's mad at me because it's my fault that you hate us and that you feel disgusted by us. It's my fault that you don't want to even be my brother anymore." I tell him, his touch not being able to stop me from crying more, my hands still covering my face.

     I feel Jason step forward until my head is pressed against his chest and my
nose twitches making me lower my hands and instead nuzzle into his broad chest.

     I feel him stiffen, but I gulp down the scent of pine and leather, the spicy smell being ingrained in my mind, smelling so much better than his hoodie that's still hidden on the floor of my closet from last night.

      "It's not your fault." Jace tells me and I go to pull away, not wanting him to lie to me. "Stop, Nick. When have I ever lied to you? Ever?" He asks me, and my sobs are light, unable to get control of my emotions, my feelings all over the place as we both push and pull at this Soulmate Bond that ruined everything.

      "Why don't you like me anymore?" I wail quietly, the words almost sticking to my throat, Jace tries to pull away but my arms tighten around him in panic not meaning to make him mad. "I'm sorry don't go." I tell him, my breath starting to get short.

      "I'm trying to look at you. Breathe, Nick, fuck." He stops trying to get away, and pulls me closer until my nose is settled in his neck and as soon as it is, I begin to relax.

       I whimper as I scent him, slightly rubbing my body over his but he doesn't say anything for a little while.

      "I kept forgetting you're an Omega some times." He whispers and not knowing what to say, I keep quiet. After a while, I begin to get embarrassed and step back, neither Jason or I looking at each other. It's quiet for a moment before he spend up, the words rushed as if they were thrown out of his mouth, forced out. "What's going on between you and Nathan?"

     I frown at the question, trying to figure out what he means. "We're friends." I tell him? my voice soft.

    "No I- Do you know if......" He keep cutting his words off before he can finish his question and he runs his fingers through his hair as he looks away, a frown on his face as he tries to think, his shirt riding up in the process.

    My cheeks stain so red it burns and I feel icky for having noticed at all.

    "Do you like him?" Finally comes a question and I raise my face to look at Jason who's standing before me, no emotion in his face, his eyes just as empty though I can see a trace of something in them.

     "Of course I like him. He's my closet friend." I tell him, not getting what he's trying to say and I see his jaw clenches before he asks again.

    "Do you like him the way.... the way you like me." He asks, the last part of the sentence almost whispered and when I get what he's saying, I turn away frok him, wanting to die of embarrassment over the fact rhat he knows me far too well, shame being the second emotion to run through me.

     "I- He just made me happy in my birthday." I tell him and I cringe when I hear the evasion of the question, not because I can't answer, but because I never thought of it. And I don't want to lie.

     There's silence before I feel myself getting turned around, anger and hurt in Jason's eyes and my heart aches for that look to go away even if I know it's my fault. "Is that who you want?" He asks me, the final question he's been meaning to. And I could tell, that if I said yes, he would give it to me. And maybe I should, but before I can get my brain together, my emotions too much for me something happens.

     And that something is Jason leaning forward, hand on the back of my neck as his lips touch mine, the kiss soft and gentle, but I can taste the fear on his lips as well as the salt of my tears.

    Just as I go to kiss back, he pulls away, shock all over his face, and I realize what just happened and I slam my hand over my mouth, confused tears coming to my eyes as he backs away in panic and leaves once again.

~~~~~~~~~~~
I can't even imagine what it's like being either one of them. Even though Jason keeps running I get it. The only one I'm truly mad at is Benny

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QOTD: Do you have wednesday off?