Dirty Little Secret

Waiting and Pain

Jason's POV

I page along the room as I try to figure out of I should go after Nick to see if he's taking so long, or to stay here and wait for him.

On one hand, he's been gone for five minutes and while it might not seem like a long time, it is and I need him to hurry up so I can stop stressing out so hard.

I don't want him to think that I don't believe he can take care of himself just to go to the bathroom, but at the same time, if something were to happen and I wasn't here to make sure he was okay, then I would hate myself.

Just as I'm about to say fuck it, the sauna door opens, letting lose a whole bunch of steam as my friends come out looking concern.

"Jace, what's wrong? We could hear your pacing inside." Clary says, comity towards me with a frown.

"Where's Nick?" Luis asks me, and J try not to growl at him.

"He went to the bathroom five minutes ago. I don't want to be that person, but he should have been back by now." I say. I've always hated it when people babies Jick and acted like he couldn't do the simplest of things on his own.

I hated it when people tried to act like he was a little pup just born and couldn't do anything on his own.

And I knew how much he hated it too.

And I don't want to turn into that type of person all because he's not here. But at the same time my mind is driving me absolutely crazy.

Just as I've had enough and Ryan is pushing at me to race to the bathrooms, I turn my head to find Nick coming inside.

"Oh thank Goddess." I breath before I walk over towards him to make sure that he's okay. When I get to him, he's at the chair grabbing his towel, throwing it on his shoulder and I frown as he gets ready to do. "You ready to go lay down, pup?" I ask him, confused.

His eyes can't meet mine as he turns to me, and all of a sudden, I don't feel welcomed to reach out and correct it.

"No. Just going to hang out with a friend. You guys can stay here." He tells me softly and my frown gets deeper.

"I thought we were going to have a movie night?" I ask him, not wanting to guilt him into it, but hurt that he's choosing someone else over me.

"Maybe another day. I'll see you guys later." He says and I watch with my mouth slightly hanging open as he waves at the four of us, his head still low before he turns around and heads out of the door. And when I look up, I see none other than the smiling face of Nathan.

'Kill him.' Ryan roars at me, but I can't.

This is Nicks choice. A movie night won't hurt. He probably feel guilty for not hanging around it with him at the time, and wants to get t it out of the way to help stop suspension.

He would tell me otherwise.

"Did he just ditch you, for Nathan?" Clary asks as if she can't believe it and I turn back to my friends and sister before I shrug my arms like it's no big deal.

"They're friends. I won't stop him from having friends." I say to them with a strained smile, even if I wish I could do just that.

✨✨✨

It's almost nine o'clock at night and I find myself laying awake in bed, waiting for Nick to come back.

It's been two hours since I've seen him, the most we've gone without seeing each other all day, and my chest hurts. Along with a bit of my pride that I try to ignore.

As much as I keep trying to convince myself that hun spending time with Nathan doesn't hurt, it does. It stings and it bleeds and it makes my heart feel right like I can't breath. I close my eyes against the darkness around me since I can still see and take a deep breath, breathing in the smell of home. Of Nick.

Just when my muscles are winding so tight from staying still they're about to burst, I finally hear footsteps coming to the door, light and soft.

I sit up on the bed and find Nick coming in, shutting the door softly behind him. I swallow whatever words I'm tempted to say. "Did you have fun?"

"A lot of fun." He tells me, his voice upbeat, and I feel a stab in my chest. "I wanted to talk to you... about that actually." He admits and my heart begins to pound and the foundations of my mind begin to rattle and shake as I try to ignore whatever it is, Nick is about to say.

~~~~~~~~~
Stan really gave me the hug fuck you in trying to get these chapters written edited and posted. I hope I can feel better in the morning.

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