Lafayette x reader

stay alive (reprise)

i groan slightly as i slowly open my eyes but cover my eyes it was so bright "ugh, why is it so bright?" i questioned aloud then twitched as i felt my hand be squeezed 

"i'll close the curtains " i hear lafayette say as his hand let go of my hand, then i could tell the room got darker and i slowly opened my eyes and uncover them, i gave laf a soft smile "are you feeling alright mon cher?"

"yeah, im fine, just, tired, what happened?" i questioned as i looked around 

"we had twins" laf smiled as he sat in a chair by the bed and held my hand again 

"really? thats great, where are they?" i asked

"at alexanders you've been resting most the day so they said they'd take care of them" he explained "we had a boy and a girl" he added

i smiled "have you been thinking about names?" i questioned, im still pretty tired so im not sure if i can even think of a name

" oui" he smiled softly, it almost seemed sad but i didnt question it "i was thinking we could name 'ze boy after washington" he gently placed a kiss on my hand "what do you think?"  

i gave him a soft chuckle "i love it" 

"is there anything you'd want to name our little girl?" laf questioned 

"hmm.." i thought for a moment "well, i think g/n is a pretty name for a girl" i smiled

"then g/n it is" he gently placed a kiss on my forehead "i love you...so much" he looked into my eyes  and smiled softly 

"i love you too lafayette" i smiled brightly 

lafayettes smile dropped a little as he kissed my cheek closing his eyes for a moment before looking at me "would it be alright if i lay with you? i dont want to hurt you" 

"of course laf" i tried to squeeze his hand but it hardly did anything, lafayette walked to the other side of the bed then carefully laid next to me, carefully putting an arm over me

"just..tell me if anything hurts..." laf carefully put his arms around me

"of course" i smiled and closed my eyes, drifting off to sleep


                                                                           lafayettes pov
i sigh softly, gently placing a kiss on y/ns cheek, i had already said my goodbyes to her and now, at least we named our children together, i just hope she wakes up tomorrow, i somehow manage to fall asleep

                                                         the next day, still lafayettes pov
i wake up in what seems to be the late morning and look at y/n, i bit my lower lip and gently placed my hand over her chest, hoping i could tell if she was alive and breathing but i couldnt, which lead me to silently panic, i didnt know what to do at this point, she could either be dead or alive, im not sure which it is and i dont know how to tell, i carefully got out of bed and tried my best to check on y/n, but it just seemed like nothing worked, the doctor said to send for him if she was still breathing in the morning but how was i supposed to tell? i tried placing my hand over the middle of her chest, trying to be as still as possible even though i was nervous and a bit shaky i closed my eyes and softly sighed, all i had to do was breath that would help, just breath but as i took a deep breath i felt my hand be pushed away, i opened my eyes and looked at y/n "mon cher?...."  i said shakily 

"laf?...is everything ok?" y/n said tiredly, i just smiled and gently kissed her forehead 

"oui everything is fine...i'll..just be a minute, stay put, oui?" i started to walk to the door, i was relieved but panicked, i sent for the doctor as fast as i could, luckily everything seemed to be alright, y/n just needed plenty of time to recover, which i would gladly give her


                                                       three months later, y/ns pov 

i had finally gotten the kids down for bed, which meant me and laf had about two hours before they needed something and woke up, i walked into our room and laid down next to lafayette 

"are they asleep?" laf asked

"for now" i smiled  and snuggled into Lafayettes arms and kissed his cheek

"i can take care of them tonight, you need rest" laf kissed my forehead 

"mmm, im fine laf, really, i am" i smiled up at him, putting our foreheads together and getting closer to him and kissed him, which he pulled away from

"mon cher i love you but please..rest.." laf smiled softly

i sighed "whats going on? laf, just talk to me, im lost here, i thought you wanted a big family but you havent even mentioned the idea of having more kids and every time i try to kiss you it seems like you think im not your wife" i looked at him, i was just, frustrated it was like he was dancing around everything  when it came to me now

he bit his lip "we have a big family mon amour, our two kids... alexander, his kids, the schuylers... john...hercules..." 

"thats not what i mean and you know it. two kids isnt a big family laf, its small, most people would already be trying again at this point, i just, dont get why your being so distant" i sighed 

lafayette gently wrapped his arms around me "i just..dont want to lose you..."

"your not gonna lose me laf.." i look up at him

he smiled "i cant risk that being wrong.."

"laf..im ok...why wouldnt i be?" i questioned 

"mon cher, im perfectly happy with two..we dont need more kids" lafayette smiled 

"laf..why are you suddenly so worried?" 

"im not worried" he gently kissed my forehead

" laf...talk to me..please" 

lafayette sighed "i..cant put you through that again.. i cant lose you.." he tightened his grip on me 

"laf, your not gonna lose me, why are you so worried? "

"when we named our kids...i thought that was the last time i'd speak to you...you where practically dead..i dont know how your alive but im so glad you are and im not risking losing you again.." he was starting to tear up

i cupped his cheek and looked at him "how did i not know that?" 

"i dont know...im just..so happy your alright.." he kissed my cheek " im sorry im acting different, i just didnt want to risk anything" he held me in a loose yet tight hug 

"your not gonna get rid of me that easily " i smiled softly