Date Her Instead Vol. 3

Chapter Fourteen: A Crack In The Rock

A night's sleep did little to temper Michi's roiling emotions. To say she woke up on the wrong side of the bed would be an understatement. Even before her eyes had fully opened, she remembered everything she had been thinking about the previous day. With it all coming back to mind, she found herself scowling before she had even gotten out from under the sheets.

Quickly, Michi got ready for the day, though most of her routine was done on auto-pilot. Her thoughts were an angry, jumbled mess, and all she could think about was how she'd achieve what she wanted. "I've wasted so much time," she thought. "I need to get Endo-san away from Kana-chan already." In reality, there was no clock, which meant there should've been no need for urgency. But in Michi's head, each day wasted was one day more she had failed.

Her objective was all-too clear, but a crucial element was still lacking: a plan. Because of that fault, there was a part of Michi that knew. Deep, deep within, at the root of her doubts and helping to fuel her regrets, was the knowledge that no matter what she did or how she tried to do it, nothing good would come of it. That fact could not be ignored, but Michi tried anyways. Harder and harder she pushed against it, refusing to fully realize the truth of her predicament.

So what drove Michi to such a state? Sheer anger? Desperation? Or perhaps just simple logic? One could say it was a combination of all of the above and more. She was mad at Haruna for stealing her friend away. She was desperate for Kanako to choose her over anyone else. Logic dictated that her emotions were in the wrong.

However, even if Michi allowed herself to be driven by emotion alone, to take action without thinking... she couldn't. What actions would she take? It wasn't like she could use force. Putting aside the issue of morality with such an approach, she was also pretty sure that Haruna could overpower her, not to mention that if she got caught doing something like that, Michi would at least end up in a juvenile detention center, maybe worse. Even if she ignored all of that, Michi wasn't really a physically aggressive person in the first place. Harsh as her words may be, it truly was a case of all bark and no bite.

Perhaps it was because of this that even Michi felt that her words were pointless. No matter what she said to Haruna or Kanako, neither of them would change their minds. There was most likely more to their mindsets than just Michi's words, but to her, it made enough sense. Simply put, Kanako and Haruna never listened to Michi because her words carried no real weight. That was how she saw it.

It felt uncomfortable. It felt cowardly. These feelings, along with many others, would usually cause someone to do some self-reflecting. Instead, Michi clung more strongly to her own stubbornness. She had to, because if she didn't, it would mean admitting she had been wrong about everything. Wrong about Haruna. Wrong about Kanako. Wrong... about herself.

In the end, the only place that worries, anxieties and failures were piling up was in Michi's brain. On the outside, not much had really changed. A couple new girls had joined their friend group with hers, but that was the only significant change. But change in and of itself was enough to send Michi's mind into a haywire state, leading her to her current condition. She wasn't crazy. She wasn't frayed. She was just... conflicted. Michi was in a state of constant internal conflict and had been ever since Haruna Endo crashed into her life.

Little did she know, or maybe she didn't even realize it herself, that that conflict was coming to an end. The truths she needed to hear were waiting in the wings, and the doubts and worries that had stacked atop one another were threatening to crash down upon her.

She knew. She denied it, but she knew. At the rate she was going, Michi knew that she'd end up doing the exact opposite of what she wanted. It had already been happening. Haruna was taking Kanako. Michi had gotten to understand Chiyo better, but that didn't automatically put the gal on her side. Mayu and Itsuki kept drifting further away. Bit by bit, they were all getting out of reach, and that was why ultimately, Michi was mad. It was the only emotion she could land on that seemed to cover how she felt. Mad at the people around her and herself, along with not completely understanding what was going on inside her.