Closed Doors and a Guitar Pick - Sen Cal Kapimi

The Cactus Speaks No Lies

"I can no longer take your presence here anymore, Eda"

"So what should I do? Leave?... All because you did not have the courage to accept being loved by someone like they had never loved before?"

What did she feel? Anger ? Disappointment? Rage? Sorrow? Eda shook her head as she mentally ticked off each emotion. No. Nothing. Nyet. Zilch. A zero. She really felt nothing. Even the tears which had been easy to come by since the time she had broken up with Serkan refused to come.

She headed back to her desk and finished the day's work after the nasty altercation with Serkan at the coffee machine. Her head bowed down , rapt in her work, she didn't even look up once, at the doors kept open. And after she had completed her designs, she sealed them in the envelope, laid them at Efe's table and left. She knew Serkan hated, simply hated, not having the last word in any argument and would not lose opportunity to continue the conversation trying again to make her leave. But honestly this time she was just too empty, too numb at his inability to deal with emotions.

Fifi and Ceren were at home, it was an unusually stormy night and they had decided to have a girls' night in. The weather outside was reflected on everybody's face. Ceren was unhappy at being dragged into the fight between Ferit and Selin. She was attracted to Ferit , felt he had been treated very badly by Selin, but she wasn't sure she wanted to be insulted by Ferit's ex-fiancee. She wasn't in love with him yet to get ready to take on the mess of his life. She seriously contemplated working from her own office with almost no visit to the ArtLife office. Fifi was sick of Erdem trying to behave as if she was resisting falling in love with him. To be honest, the Erdem who was totally in love and hanging around her like a puppy was far more attractive than this Erdem trying to play devious games with her. After listening to the two complain about the lack of sincerity in the men, Eda told them about Serkan wanting her to go away. Eda was sure Serkan was not over her, she knew it from the way he tensed up when she was near him, from the millionth time he stole a glance when he thought she wasn't aware, of his awareness of her, just the way she was about him..but the difference was she accepted that she was attracted to him, in love with him and still unable to leave him alone when he needed someone. She accepted it and when need arose, she was right by his side. But Serkan was forever fighting the feeling, he had convinced himself that they needed to split and though his heart and body betrayed him for everyone to see, he stuck to his façade. And really, today for the first time, she had not been moved to anger by his obtuseness, his pigheadedness; instead, she had felt numbed. Who was she trying to win over, who was she waiting for to come to his senses? If Serkan was as cowardly as this, he would never have courage to face up to his emotions and allow them to wither away? And so, Eda had decided to really move on, move away, this time not because he wanted to, but she wanted to.

Fifi and Ceren were silent but they too agreed. Serkan and Eda may have broken up, but in reality they looked totally enraptured by each other, and, while one could wait for the blind to regain their eyesight, how to awaken a man who didn't want to wake up?

The next day, Eda rang up Efe and told him she wanted to work from home or wherever Efe was ready to work from. Efe had been wanting this since days. He could see Eda was getting targeted and unnecessarily disturbed at the office. He agreed to meet her at his own home.

They called for her stuff from the Art Life office. And so when Serkan came in to the office, his eyes habitually shooting to the corner where Eda sat, he was rewarded by the sight of Leyla and Erdem packing up Eda's stuff in a moving box. Of course, they didn't know where Eda was, and why they were packing her stuff, only that Efe Bey had called for it. Serkan started the day on a foul mood and it was getting worse as he wanted to grab the box with all her belonging to himself and to hell with everyone. He scowled and growled and scolded everyone all morning, till Leyla was driven to tears. Which actually made him think maybe Leyla would go complain to Eda and that might make Eda come to office to defend her. Idly he wondered if targeting Eda's friends to a nervous breakdown might indeed be a strategy.