"Chrissy! Open the door!"
Just as I'm watering my beautiful kumquat and trying to distract myself, the phone beeps, and I growl as I realize that I'm not the only whose day was ruined because of Mr. fungus's annoyingness.
Is this your hot boss shou...
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Fungi fact number god knows what.
Fungi are annoying. Yes, I have articles and presentations to support that.
They have the gift of making their plant want to rip their head off. Been there, done that.
What plants fail to notice when first engaging in symbiosis is that once involved with a fungus, always attached to it. This means that every move they make, emotion they feel, event they go through, the plant goes through too.
This attachment, or mycelium-root entwining for the chlorophyll connoisseurs, comes with a major disadvantage. When one of the parties goes missing, the once-established system is broken, leaving the other party to mourn their partner and beg for their return.
This would explain why my body involuntarily threw itself the moment Ashton appeared. Not that I care or anything, but the guy's now an undeniably beneficial part of my life. It's only logical to rejoice when he comes back and resumes our symbiosis.
"Ouch! What's that for?" shrieks the fungus the moment my fingers join with his arm skin sandwiched in between.
"What's that?" I ask, walking away from him and praying for my blood to spare me the rush of color probably tinting my face, "Are you sure you're not feeling tired partner?"
Karinsky having yet to understand what plant-fungus witchcraft he's witnessing, his gaze shifts between the both of us as we stand across the table from each other. Left to right and all the way around, his neck rotates his head, as Ashton serves,
"No, I'm fine."
"Good, you must've enjoyed yourself these past few days." I hit back, not even bothering to camouflage the heaps of venom my flying response is drenched in. "Don't you think he looks a little tired for someone who just got back from a vacation?"
Our only audience having been caught off guard, he shoots us a final back and forth look then asks, "A vacation? Ashton, I didn't know. Where did you go?"
"I needed some time alone."
That fungus has the nerve to say that. People take an hour or two, a few days, or even a week to sit alone and think things through. They don't go missing for seventeen days leaving their plant all alone to fight the odds, a parasite, and a T-Rex! Who am I kidding, these are people I'm talking about! Mr. fungus has never and will never make it to that higher beings' classification!
Just then, and amidst the pool of glares and venom, Karinsky sits back in his chair, addressing Ashton as if attempting to give him some morals on the day of his verdict,
"I too need time alone sometimes,"
"What for though?" I ask, tone seeming cool, but hands ready to attack whoever dares and not reply, "Please enlighten me!"
"Aren't we supposed to discuss your project, Mr. Karinsky?" ponders Ashton with his head tilted to the side and I realize the utter unprofessionalism exhibited in front of our most important client.
