Fight for Me

Chapter 58

Lydia awoke with a start, her dreams having been plagued with the events of the day before, twisted and gruesome. She felt an arm tighten around her as she desperately tried to adjust to her surroundings, her mind foggy with sleep. Upon realizing she was situated on top of Sherlock with him looking down at her with concern in his eyes, she muttered an apology and went to get up.

However, Sherlock kept her pinned to him and asked, "are you ok?"

Lydia nodded, refusing to meet his eyes. She knew he could feel her shaking, he could probably hear the way her heart was racing. Her words barely coherent, she mumbled, "when did I fall asleep?"

"About an hour ago, you really should try to get some more-"

"No." The word came out harsh and bitter, shocking both Sherlock and Lydia alike. The latter drew in a shaky breath, trying in vain to calm herself, but it was getting harder. Harder to bury the memories, harder to feign indifference. But she wouldn't break, not now.

So she apologised as she pulled herself off of Sherlock's lap, "sorry, I didn't mean to snap. I'm fine with just an hour of sleep, I don't need more."

Sherlock watched her carefully, an unsettling pain in his heart distracting his thoughts. Lydia's hand shook, but Sherlock had a feeling that it had little to do with the nightmare she had just emerged from.

Suddenly he stood from the seat and announced, "I am going to get breakfast, any requests?"

"Whatever's easiest for you, get something for Zoe, too, if you can," Lydia spoke with indifference, the thought of food making her stomach churn. But she knew that if she were to confess that, Sherlock would only force food on her anyway and he would no doubt get that bloody pitying look in his eyes. She didn't want that from him or anyone else.

Sherlock wrapped his arm around her and placed a kiss on her temple, gauging her reaction as he pulled away. He wanted to be there for her, to help her through the withdrawals, but he knew she would push him away. She never wanted to seem weak, but what she didn't seem to understand was that he would never underestimate her strength.

The kiss surprised Lydia, who had assumed such romantic acts would be few and far beyond for the detective. But what surprised her more was how her body reacted to it. Her hands clasped around the back of Sherlock's neck as she pulled him into a rough and desperate kiss. She craved the way her mind clouded at his touch, how her sensations rose up and replaced the memories. It wasn't a kiss she needed, but it would at least stave off her addictions for the moment.

Sherlock replied to the kiss with an equal fervor, pulling Lydia's body against his own and relishing in this newfound pleasure of his. He wouldn't want to admit it, but since that night in the mansion, since her lips first met his, he had found himself addicted. It dulled his thoughts, causing sensations to overwhelm his brain, but he did not care. He enjoyed the feeling.

Noise from the hospital bed caused the two of them to finally pull apart, Sherlock's head whipping towards the sound. Lydia, who had been too lost in the kiss looked up at him with a confused expression, until following his gaze and finding Lawrence staring at them with wide eyes. However, due to the breathing tube in his throat, he was unable to make coherent sounds.

Her cheeks tinted pink, Lydia turned to Sherlock, "you should tell his doctor that he's awake on your way to get breakfast."

Sherlock gave a nod, his face having hardened into an emotionless mask the second he became aware of Lawrence's consciousness. With that, Sherlock left the room and Lydia let her lips spread into a large smile as she rushed to Lawrence's side.

"Lawrence, you're awake!" She cried out, grasping his hand in hers. "I was so worried, I mean this was all my fault, I should've moved faster, or something. But you're ok, you're ok."

Unable to speak, Lawrence tilted his head towards the door then gave her an expectant look. Lydia frowned as she tried to guess what he was referring to, answering, "Sherlock's going to let the doctor know that you're awake, I'm sure she'll remove the breathing tube once she finishes her assessments."

Lawrence rolled his eyes and slipped his hand out of Lydia's grasp, cringing slightly as the movement exacerbated his wound. Now with the freedom of his hands, he signed, "you and him?"

"Oh." Lydia's blushed returned to her cheeks as she averted her gaze to the floor. "That was-that was just-"

She racked her brain for an excuse, any excuse, but even after years of lying to avoid suspicion, she found her mind blank. But Sherlock wanted to keep it secret, at least for now. She didn't want to betray him this soon after he had voiced his concerns. But she supposed it wasn't entirely her fault, Lawrence did discover it because they had been kissing in front of him. So perhaps he wouldn't be too cross.

"Yes?" Lawrence signed, impatiently awaiting her response, although he had all of the confirmation he needed just looking at her body language.

Lydia hesitated before finally confessing, "alright, fine. We're... we're just seeing how it goes. He kissed me yesterday."

"So I was on my death bed and you were out snogging an attractive detective?"

"Hey, I didn't mean for it to happen, I just-I accidentally let it slip that I had feelings for him and, oh god, I felt as though I was going to die from embarrassment right on the spot, but then he kissed me. I mean, it was chaste, but it assured me that he felt the same. But Lawrence, you can't tell anyone else, we don't want people to know, not just yet."

Lawrence gestured to Zoe, who was stirring from the sound of Lydia's voice, which had risen in volume since her hushed conversation with Sherlock. With their friend in mind, Lawrence signed, "I'm not keeping it from her, but we won't tell anyone else."

"Lawrence?" Zoe asked in disbelief, her voice distorted by the yawn escaping her lips as she tried to wake herself up. "Lawrence, you're awake! Lia, why didn't you tell me, you should have woken me!"

"She was too busy with her boyfriend," Lawrence signed before Lydia had a chance to explain.

Zoe frowned and glanced over at Lydia who was brushing a piece of hair behind her ear. "Boyfriend? Lawrence, I think you need to brush up on your sign language, or perhaps I need to brush up on mine. Lia doesn't have a boyfriend."

She crouched besides Lawrence's bed and spoke softly between clenched teeth, just loud enough for Lydia to overhear as well, "I thought we were not going to bring up her clear attachment to you-know-who? You know how she gets-"

"Wait a moment," Lydia interrupted, her eyes flashing angrily. "You two have talked about me and Sherlock?"

Zoe froze like a deer in the headlights, whereas Lawrence merely rolled his eyes. "Of course we have, you two were living together."

"Well, I was also living with John."

This time Zoe decided to speak up, "but John wasn't the one who became obsessed with you. And he wasn't the one that you would risk your life for. It was a bit obvious, Lia. We just never thought you would actually make a move and god knows Sherlock wouldn't."

"Why didn't you say anything to me? We never used to keep secrets from each other."

"But you wanted to keep your relationship from us," Lawrence reminded her.

"Only because Sherlock-" Lydia broke off suddenly as the door opened, but was relieved that it was just Lawrence's doctor and not the man she had been talking about.

He did return a few minutes later with food for both Lydia and Zoe, as well as a little something for himself so that Lydia would not scold him. After passing out the food, he placed a small flask into Lydia's hand and whispered into her ear, "I don't mean to encourage this habit, but now isn't the best time to be going through withdrawals."

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(A/N): Well so much for keeping things under wraps... but hey maybe they won't tell anyone else? Or have another slip up like that? I hope you enjoyed this chapter!