Fight for Me

Chapter 70

Lydia walked aimlessly around London for a while, her thoughts clouded and not entirely aware of her surroundings. She would probably register the danger of meandering around without keeping alert later, but for now her mind was too busy trying to process all of her emotions.

Drink. That's what she needed. It was wrong, that much she understood, but it was the only thing that she could think out that would clear her mind. She was starting to regret even the few words she had said to Sherlock even though it had not come close to everything she had wanted to say to him. Perhaps after a drink, she would see everything more clearly and understand what she was supposed to do now.

She felt her phone buzz in her pocket, but she ignored it as she started towards the nearest pub, one goal set in her mind. However, when someone tried to ring her, she reluctantly pulled her mobile from her trousers pocket and answered it.

"Lia, we heard what happened," Lawrence answered, bypassing all forms of greeting to get to the point. "Zoe and I wanted to offer you our flat until things were sorted. Where are you now?"

"I was just wandering a bit, but I was actually thinking about heading over to your place and begging for a warm sofa to sleep on, so thank you for offering. I'll see you in a few, alright?"

Lydia felt a bit guilty for straight up lying to them, but she really did not need to be lectured on her drinking habits. With a small groan, Lydia changed directions and headed towards her friends' flat, hoping that they would at least allow her something to drink, however unlikely that wish was.

It took Zoe all of about five seconds to let Lydia into their flat and she was met immediately with two sympathetic faces. Zoe tugged her inside and sat her on the sofa, offering her a bowl of pre-scooped ice cream. The edges of Lydia's lips twitched upwards slightly at this, despite it not being alcohol. But hey, at least it had whipped cream and sprinkles.

"Tell us what happened, all we know is that Sherlock fucked up," Zoe demanded as she and Lawrence took their seats in front of Lydia in the cramped living room.

It was only Lydia's second time visiting their new flat, mostly because they tried to meet up with her outside of the small living area they had purchased. While they both now had steady jobs that paid well enough, London flats were expensive and their small space, consisting solely of one bedroom, one bathroom, a small kitchen, and an almost non-existent living room clearly reflected that.

But Lydia did not have the time to take in her surroundings, instead glancing down at the ice cream in her bowl, "well, it wasn't entirely Sherlock's fault. I probably should have been a bit more open with him as well, informed him that I felt like he wasn't really trying in our relationship, but I didn't want to pressure him into anything uncomfortable. I had to leave before I went off on everything I wanted to criticise. Because he has been there for me, he clearly does care, he just doesn't seem to be willing to trust me and it hurts. I've tried to show him that he can, countless times, but still he hides his emotions away from me more than he's willing to share them."

"What did he do to finally make you snap?" Lawrence inquired, needing to know whether he needed to go after the famous detective or not.

"It was really nothing, I just wanted to know why he was so adamant about keeping our relationship from others. I mean, it was a bit fun at first, it was a bit like a game. But yesterday Detective Inspector Lestrade found out about us and it seemed like it was about time that we made it public, or at least tell John. I mean they are best friends and I felt a bit guilty constantly lying to him. But Sherlock wouldn't even tell me why he felt such a need to keep it all secret. I know it probably wasn't much of a big deal and I am just overreacting, but I wished that he could see that he can trust me with anything."