I Kidnapped My Mommy (ON HIATUS)

7 - Perfect Gentleman

Just as Mia wondered if her dream was just her imagination or an actual event in her past that she couldn't remember, Rien dreamed about the same memory that night but his dream was a little different because even in his sleep his Milena appeared vividly. He remembered every detail about her from what she wore on a certain day, her hair, her lovely face, every little expression in her wide doe eyes, every word that came out of her cherry lips, down to the sweet scent of pear and freesia on her hair and skin.

When she started crying so desperately and begged him, he wanted to kick himself on the head so hard. His heart felt like it had been ripped out of his chest and smashed by a wrecking ball. How could he make her cry like that? How could he make her think that way? 

When she said, "You just couldn't wait to get rid of me", it felt like being stabbed in the heart. How could he make her feel that way? His precious little kitten, how could she think that? He just wanted what's best for her. He had been feeling guilty all those years because he knew she was a musical genius and could've gone to the best music boarding schools in the world to learn and be the star that she was meant to be but she wouldn't because of him. Everytime she quietly sat beside him and read business journals instead of music books, each moment she smiled brightly at him and made him feel better when he's starting to feel the pressure of his training, every gentle pat she laid on his shoulder when he argued with his father, every word of encouragement, every time she cheered her on and made her happy, he felt guilty. He had been holding her back and he felt bad about being happy that she stayed with him everyday. All along he felt he shouldn't be too glad and let her stay by his side to brighten and warm his every day like his very own sunshine when she could be out there shining her brilliance to the world. Seeing her so heartbroken made him doubt his intention, should he have been selfish? Was it better if he just kept her to himself and never let anyone else see her beauty? Would that have made her happy instead? 

Happy. That was all he wanted to make her feel, the way she made him happy everyday. How could he fail so miserably?

Then she said, "You don't have to love me back." Rien knew he had tried so hard to hold himself back. She was too young. She just turned 16 that day while he was already a young adult at 19. He had hated and tortured himself for a long time because it was so hard for him to hide what he truly felt for her. He didn't know when it started but he felt something has changed inside him one day. He no longer just wanted to protect her, dote on her and take care of her like an older brother, he wanted something more but he knew he couldn't do anything about it so he kept it to himself.

Rien held the crying Milena in his arms tighter and blamed himself again for her tears. Yes, he couldn't love her the way he wanted to yet but did he not care for her enough to feel a little more confident in her status in his heart? Everyday that he took care of her like the most precious and fragile porcelain doll that he held dearest to his heart over the years, she never knew how much she meant to him? Did she not know that she was the most important person to him? Did she not know that she was the only reason he woke up everyday? Did she not know that she was the other half of his soul and without her the world will lose all its purpose for him? Did she not know that one word from her and he would cross every sea and climb every mountain to grant her every wish? Did she not know that if she wished to touch the stars, he would build a ladder to the skies with his own hands so she could reach them? Did she not know? How could she not know how much he loved her? 

At that point, he didn't care anymore. It wouldn't matter that his parents would disown him. It wouldn't matter what anyone else thinks. It wouldn't matter that he would lose the respect of others. It wouldn't matter if they judged him for what he felt for his Milena. It wouldn't matter that it would be impossible for anyone to believe that he loved her with the purest intentions, that he was willing to wait for her to be old enough to choose to be with him. Even if he was persecuted or died for it, he just had to let her know. He couldn't keep hurting her like that.