Dreamnotfound Oneshots

I love you, no matter what

Context~

Clay is a very sensitive guy. He always feels he is doing something wrong, he feels as if he's not enough for anyone. Especially George. However, George loves Clay, no matter what and is willing to help him recover.

TW'S: Depression, Anxiety, Self-Doubt.

This was requested by: @GabriellePayne364 hope this is what you wanted. Feel free to request more ideas everyone! :)

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Clay POV:

"Clay? I'm going to the market. Do you want anything?" I hear George say from behind me by the front door. I'm currently sitting on the couch with the tv on, playing a random show. I turn my body around to look at him. "Um no thank you. How long will you be?" I ask quietly, hating how my own voice sounds. George ties his right shoe up and then walks over to me. He reaches out to cup my cheek then leans down to press his lips to my forehead. "I won't be long Clay, an hour at the most. When I come back we can make dinner together okay? I love you" He says lovingly. Does he love me though?  I shake off the depressive thought and offer George a shy smile "I love you too" I barely whisper. He smiles widely at me then walks out the door.

I sigh and turn back around to face the tv. All the bad thoughts consuming my mind. I stuff my head into my hands, trying to control my mind from spiralling out of control. I decide that this isn't doing me any good, I have to distract myself. I look around and see what there is for me to busy myself with. Then I spot the box in the corner. It's Georges new desk. He hasn't set it up yet so maybe I could do it for him before he gets back? That would make him happy and also distract my mind for a bit.

I walk over to the large box and pick it up. It's heavy but I've managed to push it into Georges office. Reaching my hand into the box, I pull out the instructions and skim over them. They look like a different language. However, I pull out all the pieces and the different type of screws and get to work. It goes well at first but eventually I realise how bad I am at following instructions. I look to the right of me and look at what I've built. It looks wrong. It's looks so painfully wrong. The wrong screws, the wrong pieces of wood. I wanted to George to be happy but instead  I've ruined his desk. I feel tears well up in my eyes. I'm so pathetic crying at a desk. I want to laugh at myself. For being so dumb. Not being able to follow simple instructions. 

"FUCK" I yell, letting my emotions take over me completely. I take one of the legs of the desks and chuck it at the wall. It snaps in half and falls down to the ground, now in two pieces. "Shit shit shit" I mumble. I frantically crawl over to the two broken pieces and pick them up. "They're broke! The desk- Georges desk! What is wrong with me? I can't do anything fucking right" I scream, hitting my head with my fists. My knuckles are turning red but I don't stop. I can't stop. Tears now falling down my face uncontrollably, choking on my owns sobs, hiccuping trying to catch my breath, "So. Fucking. Stupid" I mutter curling up into a ball. I bury my head into my knees and rock back and forth. 

"Babe! I'm back. Sorry I took a bit longer, the queues were so long!" George says, entering the front door. Shit he's home. No he can't see what I've done. I cover my mouth with my hand, muffling my sobs so they aren't as loud. Maybe he won't come in? Of course he will, it's his office after all. "Babe? Where are you?" He asks from the living room. I can hear the worry laced in his tone. His footsteps walking down the hallway past his office, towards our bedroom. Phew. He's not coming in here. I'm soon to realise that he's already out the bedroom, looking in my office now. He's going to every room, of course he is. I hear his footsteps approach the room I'm in and the door handle twists. 

A muffled sob escapes my lips. He's going hate me. I never do anything right. "Babe? Are you in here?" He asks. I don't look up to see him. I just hid farther into my knees, bringing them closer to my chest. "Babe- Clay!" I his frantic footsteps run to me. "Hey Clay? Look at me Clay. What happened?" He places both hands on my cheeks pulling my head up to look at him. "I'm-I'm sorry George, I d-didnt mean to" I say, looking down into my lap. I'm so pathetic. Can't even look at my own boyfriend. "No, no Clay. Whatever you did it doesn't matter. C'mere" He whispers gently. George wraps his arms around my shoulders, pulling me into his chest. He softly rocks us back and forth, trying his best to comfort me. "Clay...can you tell me what happened babe?" He asks, while stroking my hair. I let out a choked sob. He's going to be so pissed- "It's okay Clay, I won't be angry. Whatever happened, we can fix it. Together okay?" He says comfortingly.

"No! But we can't. I b-broke something of yours. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry George-" I coughed, cutting myself off. George immediately reacts by patting my back; not harshly, just enough to help me calm down. "It's okay Clay, take your time. We've got all the time in the world" I inhale shakily, but lean back to look at George. "Your-your new desk George. I thought it would be nice to build it for you, s-since you have been so nice to me lately. But it went wrong, the instructions w-were too hard to follow. I can't do anything fucking right" I groan in frustration, bringing my fist to my head a second time, repeatedly punching myself. It kills, I know there is already a bruise forming but I can' stop. "Clay? Clay! Come on, stop hitting your head. You've got a massive bruise and your knuckles are s-so red. Clay please stop. Stop hurting yourself" George says, grabbing my wrist and pulling them away forcefully. "I knew you would be angry, I'm so George. I c-can go and buy you a new one" I rush out my words, already trying to stand up and leave. But George grabs hold of my hands. "Clay, please calm down. I could never be angry at you for something so small. I think it's really nice that you tried to help. Thank you" He says, looking at me. 

"How- why are you thanking me? I'm just p-pathetic. I can't do anything right. I just wanted to make you happy George, thats all I want. Is for you to be happy and I can't even do that right- I can't even be the good boyfriend you deserve" I break down, back onto my knees in front of George. I look up to see tears in Georges eyes. "Clay, I'm always so incredibly happy whenever I'm with you. Please stop saying you're pathetic. Because you're not; far from it. You are one of the b-best boyfriends I could ever ask for" He says shaking with each word. I didn't want him to cry. "P-please don't cry George, I can buy you a new desk-" He cuts me off "I'm not crying over the stupid desk Clay!" He says loudly. I flinch and look back down into my lap. George is soon to realise he yelled and swiftly used his left hand to tilt my head up to look at him. "I didn't mean to yell at you Clay, but trust me when I say I'm not crying over the desk. I don't care about the desk. I don't care for anything, except for you" He says, wiping my tears away. 

I collapse into his chest, burying my head in his neck. "Shh, it's okay babe, cry all you want. I'll be here for you, always" He says. I nod and turn my head up to look up at him. George smiles at me, then leans down to place a small, gently kiss against my lips. When he pulls away, I can't help but stare. How does he even want to kiss someone like me? "Your eyes are so pretty" He whispers. I blush and break eye contact with him. "Whoops, did I say that out loud?" He says, causing me to giggle a bit. I look back up to him and he's already looking at me with a warm smile. "It's true though and not just your eyes, you're beautiful Clay. Everything about you. And not just your physical features, your personality too. I love you" He says. I shake my head and let out a small sigh. 

George notices and cups my cheek. "What do I have to do to make you believe me Clay?" He asks, almost sounding desperate. I shrug "I don't know, I guess it's just hard to believe that someone like you could ever like, let alone love someone like me" I say shakily. George tuts in response, then takes a moment to think. "Babe you shouldn't think about yourself like that, okay? I hate it enough seeing you cry and I hate it even more when you doubt yourself and say you're not good enough" George says, wiping my dry tears away. "I'm s-sorry-" George cuts me off. "No need to apologise Clay, I want to help you, not make you feel bad for anything" He says meaningfully. I nod, not trusting my voice at the moment. George pulls at the strands of my hair in hope to calm me down. Which he easily does. "G-George?" I whisper. He hums in response. "Thank you, I love you" I say, meaning every word. He smiles down at me and places a delicate kiss to my forehead. 

"I love you Clay, no matter what"

~1723 words :)

(I'm not proof reading this because I'm tired sorry lmao)