Come, Fly With Me

TWENTY SEVEN

Okay ladies, this was a very difficult chapter to write :(

I'll hand out the tissues now... you'll thank me later. Please show this chapter some love, and be warned, this is just the beginning of the emotional ride... 

Only days later, and the engagement was official. Mama and Baba didn't hesitate for a second and were ready and willing to officially welcome Rima into their home with open arms. Rima's parents were the same; they were overjoyed when they found that Rima had found somebody she actually liked, as they'd been trying to convince her since we graduated university to take the proposals that came her way seriously, instead of simply turning them down without a second thought. In line with tradition, Rima's family had invited us all over to their house to bring the rishta and discuss things further. I was as excited as ever and Ehsaan had to keep reminding me that our baby was probably turning somersaults in my stomach from how much I'd been bouncing around. He was coming too, and we all dressed simply yet presentable enough to bring Sami to their home for the purpose of marriage. I was loving every moment, and was torn between being on the girls' side with Rima or the groom's side with Bhai. We argued endlessly, then finally decided I'd be with the bride on the nikaah, and the groom on the walima. I really was experiencing the best of both worlds here.

Ehsaan was thrilled that I had something to keep my mind from wondering into the depths of the unknown as I'd spoken to him about my fears following my conversation with Sienna, the lady I'd met at the hospital, who, sadly, had miscarried for a third time.

Wedding bells were ringing loudly, and happiness surrounded us all, but it wasn't enough to banish the feeling at the pit of the stomach which told me that trouble was near, and that when it hit us, it would be in a way we least expected.

* * *

I was waiting in the hospital waiting room, reading the text Ehsaan had just sent me, which read,

Good luck at the appointment today, I can't help but feel sad that I can't be there to hold your hand. Don't forget to ask the doctor about something you can take for your dizziness. I'm so sorry I couldn't make it, but I can't wait to get home and see how much our little peanut has grown! Call me as soon as you're done, I want to know everything! I miss you, darling x

I smiled as I replied with a quick, Baby can't wait to spend time with daddy tonight. And don't be sorry, your clients need you! Love you and miss you too x

International clients flying in from Moscow meant Ehsaan wasn't able to attend today's ultrasound. It was the first appointment he was missing, and as gutting as it was, I was grateful that I, unlike many other women, had a supporting husband who was always there for the even the smallest of things, no matter what. I stood up, picking my bag up from the chair beside me and went in as my name was called.

It was a different doctor today, not my usual one, and the appointment was going smoothly as he asked me a long list of routine questions. Finally, it was time for me to see my baby chick, and I eagerly had my eyes peeled for when he or she would pop up on the screen in front of me. I was in awe of my baby's features, the tiny fingers and toes all curled up, the little eyelids that were squeezed tightly shut, the little nose that was cute and round. Our baby is just perfect.

The whole time, the doctor didn't say a word. He excused himself after a couple of minutes of just staring at the screen, his face masking sympathy. I didn't think anything of it, I thought he'd just gone to collect some paperwork as he'd given me smile before leaving. He returned after a long time with another doctor, one that I'd met once before. They nodded, they whispered, I was terrified.

"Is - is something wrong?" I plucked up the courage to ask.

"Are you alone today, honey?" The other doctor asked. I gulped and nodded. "Okay, come take a seat over here." She pointed at a seat by her desk.

"I'm really sorry, but there appears to be an abnormality. We're going to refer you to have an echocardiogram, if that's okay, but we can't do it now, we'll have to book you in?"

My heart sank as I took in the look on her face, "Echocardiogram?" I whispered. "What does that mean?"

"Your baby's heart appears to have not developed properly. It looks slightly larger than it should on one side. I can go into the details another time when you have somebody with you if you want, but it's not looking great. I'm not saying there is no hope, there is. But I am saying it would be wise to be ready to prepare for the worst" Everything blurred around me as she continued to speak. The other doctor was talking too. I couldn't hear, I couldn't think, I couldn't breathe.

I held it together. I didn't cry. Not in that room. Not in the car. Not until I got home and banged the door shut and ran to the bedroom and fell to the floor.

My whole world was falling apart.

My dreams crushing before me.

And there was nothing I could do.

Nothing in my power that would be able to stop the flood that was drowning me.

I was lost in the dark, no trace of light. No hope left within me.

I needed Ehsaan, but I couldn't tell him. It would break him. And I can't see him crumble in my arms. I can't do that to him. My love and my baby. My two pieces of heaven on Earth. My everything.

I'm crying 😭 that chapter really did take a turn for the worst :(

I hope you all enjoyed that, and I haven't upset you too much... on a serious note, if anybody is affected by the contents of this storyline, please put your wellbeing first, it's much more important than my writing ❤️ Also, I'm trying to be as factually correct as possible after doing some research, but I'm really sorry if you see any mistakes in the story from here onwards.

BUT, how are we all feeling? And what do you think is going to happen next?

Lots of love x