I was one of five women chosen to serve our country, fighting side by side with the men, and only some of us had come home. Being surrounded by friends and enemies, having to choose who you can save, who you can love, and how to survive is something...
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That night, I stood on the deck of the ship gazing out across the dark ocean, watching the waves drift by. Lifting my eyes to the starry sky, I spotted the star Webster pointed out to me all those weeks ago. I smiled, feeling a little comfort from it.
"What are you doing up here?" a gentle voice whispered behind me.
Glancing over my right shoulder, I saw Darla standing there, arms crossed over her chest for warmth, a look of confusion mixed with concern on her expression. The sea air whipped through her hair, blowing it around her face. She approached me, nuzzling close for warmth as she waited for my response.
"I needed to think," I replied, turning my gaze back to the rolling ocean. The full moon overhead created a sparkling blanket over the crests of the waves - one I would have appreciated more had it not been for the doubt that was currently drowning me.
Darla exhaled sharply. "If someone catches us up here, we could get into trouble."
"Yeah, I know," I muttered. I didn't really care about that. If I got reprimanded for getting some fresh air, I'd deal with that as it happened.
"What's going on in that mind of yours?" she asked after a moment of silence grew between us.
"What do you think will become of all of us, Darla?"
"What do you mean?" her voice was quiet but I could still hear the chattering of teeth behind her lips.
I looked at her and sighed. "You know we're not all going to make it back alive." I scoffed admitting, "I have doubts about living through this myself."
"You can't talk like that-" she scolded.
"I know, I know...but...let's face the facts for a moment," I paused to motion vaguely back down the stairs where the other girls were sleeping, "Out of all of us, who has the highest chances of getting killed?"
Darla admitted glumly, "You and Anne."
"Exactly."
"So, what are you saying?"
I inhaled deeply before saying, "What do you think will happen to Sarah or Charlotte when they find out one of us, or even both of us, got killed? Do you think they would be able to handle that? Do you honestly think they would be able to cope with that information by themselves?"
"We're nurses, Em. We're surrounded by death," Darla pointed out.
I argued my case, "Yeah, death of those around us...not of each other." I gripped the cold metal railing of the ship, looking down into the dark abyss below. "They are young still, Darla. They've never experienced death before..." my voice trailed off, getting lost in the sound of the waves crashing against the ship's hull.
"Like you?" she asked, breaking the growing silence.
Licking my lips, I lifted my head to look her in the eye. I sighed and nodded, admitting my fears.
