I was one of five women chosen to serve our country, fighting side by side with the men, and only some of us had come home. Being surrounded by friends and enemies, having to choose who you can save, who you can love, and how to survive is something...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Nearing Heffron's foxhole, I could see him sitting inside, facing the enemy line. Even though he was focused on the line, his posture indicated his remorse. I slid in beside him, bringing my knees up to my chest as I glanced at him. When he didn't say anything or even acknowledge my presence, I asked, "You were looking for me?"
"Yeah," he began, voice sharp and agitated, "I wanted to tell you to add John Julian to your list of names for telegrams back home." His angry eyes never tore away from the front line.
My face fell at the hardness behind his tone of voice. Heffron was one of those guys who tried to get to know the replacements as they filtered in - many of us believed it was because he was a replacement once himself. I wondered if he regretted the decision to do so after the death of his new friend. "I'm sorry, Heffron."
He shrugged. "It is what it is, you know? Just..." his voice drifted away for a moment before he growled, "It makes me so angry!" He glanced over at me, "He was just a kid - a virgin! He shouldn't have even been here, you know?"
I didn't speak, knowing he needed to vent - to have someone to talk to. I knew this was why I was really sitting here next to him. Heffron began to regale me stories about Julian I wasn't sure anyone else knew about. When he was finished, he turned to me. "I don't have his tag but..." his voice cracked a little, showcasing the despair and guilt he felt, "You'll add him to your list, right? You'll let his folks back home know?"
I nodded, offering a sympathetic gaze. "Of course I will. It's the least we can do."
Heffron's eyes started to mist over with tears. He turned away from me, clearing his throat to hide his emotions. "Thanks," he mumbled. "I just didn't want him to be forgotten, you know?" He shrugged half-heartily.
"I know," I whispered. I sat with him a little while longer, to give him the chance to say more on the matter, if he so chose to. While I waited for him to speak, I wrote Julian's name in my book along with the others. He was yet another tragic casualty of this war. My heart broke with each addition to the ever-growing list but it brought painful memories forward each time I saw the first name on the list - Thomas Palmer. His death impacted me in such a way I never thought possible.
Scanning the long list of names, I decided to write Sarah's and Charlotte's names among the others, even though their families had been notified of their deaths by now. I took it upon myself to make sure I wrote to them personally, maybe even visited their families, because it felt like the right thing to do given my relationship with them. After I finished reading the list and realizing Heffron wasn't going to speak anymore, I climbed out to head back to my foxhole.
Along the way, an angry shout behind me forced me to stop in my tracks. "Nurse Banks! I've been looking everywhere for you!" My eyes fluttered closed for a moment as I recognized the voice. I hadn't heard it with such hostility before and braced myself as I turned around slowly to face him.
