I was one of five women chosen to serve our country, fighting side by side with the men, and only some of us had come home. Being surrounded by friends and enemies, having to choose who you can save, who you can love, and how to survive is something...
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I didn't go to the award ceremony that night after all. Instead, I holed myself up inside my barracks, thinking about the events leading up to this moment. I couldn't get past the fact we lost so many men and were sent kids as replacements.
It wouldn't be the last ceremony we'd be ordered to attend. Word spread throughout the camp about a vigil for the fallen. There was no getting out of this one - everyone had to go. Several men were angry to learn about this vigil, mainly because it fell on a Sunday - the one day of the week Battlation gave to the men to do as they pleased when off the line.
Dressed in my new clean uniform, I headed towards the tent hosting this vigil. As I neared the tent, several men complained loudly about the ceremony. "I'll honor the dead on any other day..." one man confessed, anger lacing his tone, "Saturday or all day Monday but I shouldn't have to do this on my own time! I had plans!"
His friend sighed heavily. "Yet, here you are," he spat. "So, shut up!"
"Of course I'm here...it was an order to be here!" he retorted.
I tried to drown them out as best as I could. While I understood why he was upset, I didn't understand why he couldn't let go of one Sunday. Then again, it could be his last Sunday, too. It was a hard line to balance and I didn't envy the officers having to field these complaints.
More men filed into the tent which was already crowded. Finding space to stand, let alone walk was proving to be quite difficult. I found a small spot in the far corner and stood there. As the room filled with irritated men, I carefully eyed them. There was a distinction between the men - those who were battle-worn and tired and those who were wide-eyed replacements, eager for war.
As my eyes drifted across the room, they caught Lieutenant Speirs as he entered the tent, moving to the opposite corner. He didn't glance about the room or talk to the men standing around him. He just was - staring straight ahead of him. The men surrounding him, however, stood straighter, quieting down, almost in fear of what he might do to them if they offended him.
It didn't take long before the tent was filled to the max with men, leaving barely enough room to maneuver. The officers from Battalion, including Colonel Sink, appeared before us on a makeshift stage with a podium in the center. Colonel Sink scanned the room of men, nodding in clear approval of the outcome.
"Men!" he shouted, seizing the attention of the room. Everyone quieted down, standing at attention for him as he continued, "I want to start by saying how damned proud of you I am. You're fine soldiers, the best this army has ever seen." He nodded once, giving us a solemn expression as he continued, "I know this is the last place you want to be on such a fine day as this," he lifted his notes, "listening to me read off a piece of paper but I commend each one of you for showing up and honoring our friends and brothers in arms."
My eyes bounced about the room, noticing a lot of men who complained earlier looked ashamed, hanging their heads.
Sink continued, "As I read the names today, I want you to remember how brave they were and remember this is... unfortunately only the beginning. We have suffered the highest casualties since D-Day - Now, I hope that by hearing the names of our fallen, we will rise above this together and give those Krauts hell!"
