I was one of five women chosen to serve our country, fighting side by side with the men, and only some of us had come home. Being surrounded by friends and enemies, having to choose who you can save, who you can love, and how to survive is something...
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As I waited on news regarding the new patrol, I sat on the cold stone steps of my housing, looking down at the lined pages in my notebook. There were a few blank pages left but most were filled with the names of those we lost. I scribbled Jackson's name on the page but staring at it next to all the others was numbing.
Sighing, I closed the book, tossing it back into my pack, and feeling the weight of it across my shoulders. The book would have been filled by now if I had taken the time to write the names of those I had tags for but hadn't had a chance to put onto the pages. I suspected I'd need another notebook for all of the tags sitting in the bottom of my pack, wadded up in a tangled ball of chains. I knew I could wait until we got home to organize them but it felt right to write their names in a notebook with the others. I knew this project I started to follow up with the families of the deceased when the war was over was a large one and it wasn't until now that it began to overwhelm me.
Glancing about the town we were in, the snow blanketed the ground, shrubs, window ledges, and rooftops. Every time you took a step, the loud crunching underfoot was deafening. Seeing how much the snow covered, there wasn't much that hadn't been graced with the frozen elements. I worried about this new patrol and how stealth wasn't going to be on their side.
The unmistakable sound of snow crunching told me someone was approaching. I peered over my shoulder to see Speirs sitting beside me on the cold snowy steps. His dark eyes scanned me for a moment, his lips pressed into a thin line of disappointment as a gentle sigh emerged. He tugged his leather gloves off of his hands, passing them over to me. I took them greedily and shoved my blueish fingers inside. I could feel the warmth that lingered on the inside engulf my frozen fingers. I smiled, releasing a pleased moan. "Thank you."
He nodded briefly, his eyes darting about the area before us. "What are you doing outside?"
"I wanted the fresh air," I admitted, turning to look at what captured his attention. There were a couple of birds flying overhead but nothing else of note. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him shake his head as he tried to keep from giving me his usual lecture. I bit my lip to keep from laughing. Composing myself, I inhaled deeply before asking, "So, what's going to happen tonight?"
"Colonel Sink wants the patrol," he confirmed. "It will be the same group of men, a few hours later in the night than before."
After a pregnant pause, I muttered, "I hate this."
He looked over at me. "I know." His voice was low, calm, gentle, even reassuring.
"I'm not talking about just the patrol," I confessed as I held his intense stare.
"I know," he breathed. The intensity behind his eyes grew -the same intensity I only saw once before. I couldn't look away from him as we stared into one another's eyes. My heart stopped the longer he gazed deep into mine, leaving me no longer feeling cold and wishing this moment wouldn't disappear. His lips parted ever so slightly, inching closer to me.
