The Weigh to Happiness

Elephants

Lacey yawned as she put her toothbrush away. I don't know how Bridget can get up so early. She thought, rubbing her eyes. If I had to be at work before eight am I'd die. She opened the bathroom door, her mind slowly waking up as she wandered back into her bedroom. At least the house smells like bacon.

Suddenly Lacey stepped back into the hall, frowning. Is that bacon sizzling? She thought, recognizing the familiar sound. But Bridge should already be at work....

Lacey changed direction, heading to the kitchen, curious. Did Bridget call in sick? She wondered, following the sounds of breakfast being made.

Lacey's eyes widened as the most unexpected sight caught her eyes.

Standing in front of the stove was an absolutely enormous man, frying bacon, the front of his shirt pulled up to the belly button to reveal a heavy sagging roll of fat that spilled over his waistband. By the looks of things this intruder had made himself comfortable in the shared apartment.

Lacey was about to scream when she saw something even more unexpected. An impossibly small hand slid up over the arc of the behemoth's belly and squeezed just below his swollen breast, a soft, but vaguely familiar laugh accompanying the gesture.

"Han—Hannah?" Lacey stuttered, shocked almost as much by the rare laugh as by the enormous man.

Hannah leaned forward, her tiny face appearing over top of the huge belly that was taking up half the kitchen. "Oh, hi, Lacey!"

Lacey blinked her mouth opening and closing. "Hi. Uh, what are you doing?"

"We're making breakfast." Hannah explained as the fat man smiled. "French toast, hash browns, bacon."

"Oh." Was all Lacey could manage. Who are you and what did you do with my roommate? And who is this fat guy?

Lacey didn't know what was the most surprising thing about Hannah's explanation. The fact that she was cooking? The cheerfulness in her voice? The mountain of blubber in the kitchen? Or the fact that Hannah was touching him and referring to themselves as we.

"It smells good." She offered, not sure what to say.

"It smells amazing." Hannah agreed. "Felix said—oh!" Hannah's eyes widened as she smiled. "This is Felix. We met at the meeting yesterday. Felix, Lacey, Lacey, Felix."

"It's nice to meet you." The behemoth was suddenly facing Lacey, shirt still pulled up over his gut, fat hand thrust out at Lacey.

"It's nice to meet you too." Lacey said, taking the huge hand. "The meeting went—the meeting went well?"

"The meeting was good. Meeting Felix was the best part." Hannah told her. 

"Oh, well that's nice." Lacey forced herself to say. It was nice that Hannah had met someone, but Lacey was so confused. She'd known Hannah for fifteen years and in all that time Hannah hadn't shown any interest in men. Or women, for that matter.

But now she was bringing a man home? A man she'd just met? A man who had to weigh more than all three roommates put together?

"We made some for you too, Lace." Hannah said, putting three plates on the table.

"I hope you brought your appetite." Felix said, pulling a stack of French toast from the oven, where it had been warming. His shirt had pulled down some , but a sizeable swath of blubber still hung out the bottom.

"I—okay." Lacey grabbed the syrup from the fridge, deciding to watch whatever was happening play out. She was not disappointed.

Although each of them put a normal amount of food on their plates to start, Hannah immediately pushed the syrup towards Felix, and then added two more slices of French toast and four more slices of bacon to his plate. Felix didn't seem to mind, asking both girls questions while they ate.

"So you guys are childhood friends?" He prompted, making his way through his food."Yeah, since, what? Grade two?" Lacey looked at Hannah for confirmation. "And Bridget since grade five."

"It's great that you're all still close." Felix observed, drinking some of his juice. "I have some friends from high school, but no one I'm super close to."