World Domination for Dummies

Extended Stay

I blinked stupidly, my mind groggy as my extremely blurry gaze drifted around. I began to feel around for my glasses, only to find them on an end table that was on my left side. My brow furrowed since my end table was on my right side whenever I was in bed. I sat up, cringing as I did so. I slipped my glasses on with my left hand before blinking a few times.

The hospital room I was in had another person rooming with me.

I gave another slow blink before my eyes widened at the sight of Orochimaru, who was asleep with several bandages and a ventilator. I am exceptionally fucked.

The man remained peacefully oblivious as I began to have a panic attack.

Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. I am not going to get out of this alive. I'm going to be seen as treasonous scum that tried assassinating a member of the Three Legendary Sages, loyal to Konoha and Konoha alone, at this point in time at least. I grabbed my head with my left hand before pausing. I looked over at my right arm and saw it in a cast, though I could feel no pain from it. I tried moving my arm, but ended up not being able to.

Orochimaru suddenly twitched, catching my attention. His eyelids fluttered open, though there was no clarity in them. He was clearly just as dazed as I was a few minutes ago.

"Fuck you, you snake bastard. This is all your fault," I hissed venomously.

Orochimaru slowly looked over at me before his eyes finally gained some level of clarity. He opened his mouth to say something, only to pause as he realized he was on a ventilator. His eyes moved from me to the machine and then back to me. Then, his beautiful snake-like eyes narrowed accusingly.

"I'm not apologizing," I said as I turned my head away, holding my nose up in the air.

The man took the ventilator out of his mouth and, subsequently, his throat. "You-" He immediately began coughing up blood. He gave a glare as he cleared his throat. He was going to retort, probably, but the door opened.

It was our worst fear… Tsunade.

With wide eyes, I decided that keeping my mouth shut would be the best idea.

"So…" The blonde put her hands on her hips, glaring at us fiercely.

"Hello, Tsunade," Orochimaru greeted with a smile like he wasn't being stared down by someone who could literally beat us to unconsciousness, heal us to consciousness, and then beat us to unconsciousness again just to prove a point.

Tsunade scowled. "What the hell were you thinking?! You know better than to take a ventilator out! I should-"

"Now, now. Let's keep things properly rated," Orochimaru said as he motioned to me.

Are you… suicidal? I thought as I looked at the man oddly.

"Speaking of you…" Tsunade turned her wrath toward me. "You stupid, ignorant, little brat."

I remained silent, knowing that I was, in fact, in the wrong.

"I cannot believe-"

There was a knock at the door, causing everyone to look toward said door.

"Who is it?" Tsunade snapped angrily as she stomped toward the door. She slammed it open, only to pause upon seeing the goddamn Hokage.

Ah, so this is where I'm declared a traitor and sentenced to death, I thought as I felt panic once again bubble to life inside of me. It was fun while it lasted… for half the time at least.