The lost children (finished editing)

"Chaptet 7; I miss you (the parents)"

Trigger warnings: Mourning, child neglect, loss, distracted driving, etc.

☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

Killian steered the Jolly toward the island that was far off in the distance— eyes narrowed, a far off look in his eye.

He was running on autopilot, vaguely aware of what the others were doing. He could feel some glaring at him, hear hushed voices but he couldn't find it in himself to care. He didn't feel like any of this was real or that he was actually there.

Sure, his body was there on the deck, steering the ship, his ship—Liam's ship— toward the accursed island that took his brother from him, but his mind? No.

His mind wasn't there.

He wasn't there. He, His mind, and his thoughts were in the past—thinking about everything he had lost.

Thinking about where he went wrong, what could have gone better. Thinking of Milah, Baelfire, Liam, and his children.

Mainly his Children.

He couldn't stop thinking about Harriet or how much she looked and acted like Milah. Couldn't stop thinking about the last time they had spoken— about how they had argued.

Killian had never forgiven himself for that day—had never forgiven himself for not opening the door. For not letting her in. He regretted not checking on her and for how he had treated Harry and CJ in the aftermath.

Killian swallowed heavily as they got closer to Neverland—his grip tightening on the steering wheel as he was assaulted by the memories and Thoughts. He wished he could forget. Forgot how much Harry looked like a clone of him and Milah. How Harry had his smile and his laugh. Forget how his little boy used to crawl into his bed or curl up on the floor outside his door at night whenever he had a nightmare because "I'm always safer with you daddy!"

Killian's heart sank as he remembered those words. He could still hear Harry saying them and how little Calista used to nod along to them.

Killian bit his lip, trying to fight off the memories.

Trying to forget them. Trying to forget how Calista looked exactly like his mother despite sharing no DNA with him. Trying to forget the mini-heart attacks she gave him by climbing on everything. Trying to forget how she'd even climb on people when she couldn't get their attention the regular way. Trying to forget the pranks she somehow always managed to pull off.

Oh God, how he wished he could forget them. His and Milah's children, his whole life—his whole world. He saw so much of the people he loved most (Liam, Mama Jones, and Milah) in the world in them—as well as a little bit of himself. He squeezed his eyes shut.

"Hook?"

Killian opened his eyes, blinking the tears out of them to find a concerned looking Emma standing in front of them. When had she gotten there?

"Aye luv?" The blonde rolled her eyes slightly, still looking concerned. "Are you alright?"

Killian gave her a confused look, wondering why she cared and why she would ask such a thing.

"Yes, why wouldn't I be?" He lied.

"Because I've been trying to get your attention for the past ten minutes, you're crying, and I can tell when you're lying."

Killian scratched behind his ear nervously, looking rather sheepish "Sorry lass, I must've zoned out. What did you need?"

He prayed she'd drop it.