The Twelve Days of Deckerstar

The 6th Day - Six Million Rants

"I can't bloody believe it! The nerve of him! Ugh! As if he hasn't made my life a living Hell enough already, he has to go and corrupt my friends. The most innocent of them, no less!" Lucifer grumbled angrily as he marched around Chloe's bedroom and slowly got undressed for bed. 

Chloe was sitting on the bed, all ready to go to sleep, and only half listening to Lucifer's rants. They had just gotten home from Ella's a few minutes ago. They stayed really late to help her finish baking, so it was now well after midnight. He had kept his mouth shut about her dating Michael for the rest of the night, but Chloe could tell that he was on edge. Just as she thought, he exploded with complaints the entire ride home. 

"You don't know for sure that Michael's dating Ella to ruin your life. Your dad practically put His foot in Michael's ass when He was here a couple months ago. Maybe Michael's trying to turn over a new leaf?" Chloe countered. 

"That's bloody unlikely, Detective, and you know it." Lucifer's head appeared around the corner out of the bathroom as he continued to reply, "Despite Dad giving Michael a slap on the wrist for his misdeeds, you saw how unhinged my brother was when he first came here! Destructive chaos and instability don't just change that quickly!"

Chloe huffed - remembering that God was pretty furious with Michael a few months ago and that Lucifer is really down-playing it - and added, "Hey, you came to Earth after how long in Hell and changed a lot, and for the better...why can't Michael?"

There was silence for a moment until Lucifer peered around the corner again, this time with a toothbrush hanging from his mouth. He took it out and replied, "Because I'm me and he's...him."

"Mmhmm." Chloe rolled her eyes, unconvinced. Then she returned to his earlier argument. "If I were you, I wouldn't refer to Ella as 'corrupted' or 'innocent'. Ella's the sweetest person in the world, but she's been through a lot. I know she has a bad habit of dating bad boys, but I don't think she'd choose to date Michael if she was getting a bad feeling about him. Plus, Lucifer," Chloe's tone dropped seriously, "Ella knows about you, all of you, and she hasn't run or crumbled into a million pieces. I think that says a lot more than you're considering. Ella handled the truth better than any of the rest of us."

She heard the water in the sink turn on and off, and then Lucifer sighed and slowly came out of the bathroom in his silk pajamas. He crossed his arms tightly over his chest and leaned against the wall. 

"I know. You have no idea how grateful I am that Miss Lopez isn't terrified of me." He bit the inside of his cheek as he looked up at the ceiling, "I just wish she'd find someone better for herself, someone...worthy of her."

Those words struck her as familiar, so Chloe replied, "Kind of like how you felt about me?"

Lucifer's dark eyes met hers and he sighed, hanging his head. 

Chloe continued, "Lucifer, I understand why you're frustrated. I don't trust Michael either...but I do trust Ella. Just like with us, we have no idea how this is going to play out. Maybe they'll realize they aren't good for each other and end things, we don't know! All we can do is support Ella and be her friend."

Lucifer looked up at her and smirked, "Why does it sound like you're playing the me's advocate for Michael."

Chloe smirked right back and retorted, "I guess you could call it angel's advocate."

Lucifer rolled his eyes and joked, as he slipped off his robe, "I'm going to bed."

Chloe ignored him and continued thoughtfully, "Although, I guess in this case, I'm more on Ella's side, so I'm Ella's advocate?"

Lucifer flopped down indignantly on the bed, making Chloe bounce a little bit as he grumbled, "You're my partner, you're supposed to be on my side for everything!"

Chloe laughed, "You don't have a side for this because this isn't about you! This is about Michael and Ella. Ooooh..."

Chloe stopped and her eyes and smile widened, "We could refer to them as Michella?"

Lucifer shot up into a sitting position and nearly growled, "NO! No, we are not giving those two a bloody ship-name. What are we? Fifteen year-old girls who don't have any social lives besides the clerks at a bookstore?"

Chloe narrowed her eyes at him and said, "I think it's cute, and why are you so upset about it? You refer to us as Deckerstar. Hi Pot, I'm The Kettle!"

Lucifer simmered and laid back down in bed, pulling the covers over his face and saying, "I still don't like it!"

"She might change him!" Chloe reminded him as she turned out the light. 

"Not bloody likely!" Lucifer argued, "Oh? Perhaps like you'd come around to the idea of enjoying the department's holiday party tomorrow?"

"How does that relate to this?" Chloe argued, very confused.

Lucifer chuckled darkly, "It's something that annoys you. We're going, we're taking part in the ugly sweater competition, and that's final."

Chloe grumbled and slunk down into bed, staring at the ceiling. She did not want to go to this party tomorrow, but Lucifer insisted on going and is dragging her along. 

"Fine, you know what?" She countered, prepared to speak his language, "I'll go to the party tomorrow and not complain, if you can get through Christmas without causing issues for Michael and Ella."

"One thing is not nearly as catastrophic as the other! The party will be good for you to attend. My twin dating Miss Lopez is of world-ending proportions!"

Chloe was about to argue that that was a bit dramatic of an assumption, but Lucifer cut her off. 

"Oh...oh no. Oh that's - ARGH! EW!" He yelled and smashed a pillow over his own face. 

"What?" Chloe pressed. 

"I just imagined Miss Lopez and - oh I can't even say his name right now - having sex! Oh that's disgusting. I can't get that image out of my brain!" Lucifer whined and made gagging noises. 

Chloe's brow furrowed as she clarified in a flat tone, "I though you encouraged people to have sex? Give into their deepest desires and pleasures and...whatever else. Weren't you okay with Amenadiel and Linda?"

From underneath his pillow, Lucifer held up a finger and explained, "That brother is fine. I do not want to picture Mikey - blech! - doing nasty things to Miss Lopez!"

Chloe muttered, "Knowing her, I think it'd actually be the other way around."

Before she knew it, Lucifer quickly took the pillow off his face and hit her with it, "I heard that!"

Chloe laughed and jokingly cried, "Ow!" as she lightly smacked him in return. 

"We should stop talking about this before I have nightmares." Lucifer decided.

"Fine by me." Chloe laughed as she snuggled into his side. A  few moments later, she felt him relax into her and his breaths became even and deep with sleep.