maniac

had it

hi i changed the cover

todorokis pov

i sat there and waited to see if he would answer. If he didn't answer id stay. if he told me to go id go. i didn't want to do anything that would upset him, not again.

"stay" bakugou said in a small voice

"okay" i said

"I didn't think.." bakugou started to say something but it didn't come out all the way

"didn't think what suki?"

bakugou sighed. he fell backwards onto the bed and stretched his legs out.

"I didn't think they'd find out. i didn't think anyone would, not even the pros"

" you say that like its a bad thing"

"cause like...fuck todoroki it is? is it not? why would anyone at this school be okay with me being like this if my own mother wasn't okay with it?"

i turned my head to look at him. i was in shock. i didn't know his parents weren't supportive.

"i didn't know your parents were like that. I'm sorry."

"no its not both of them just that old hag. she freaked out when i told her. she even hit me. and then she just left. she left me and my dad. my dad was okay with it but i cant help me think that he has to be blaming me for this. if i just didn't say anything then maybe mom wouldn't have left us. i knew she was having trouble accepting the fact that i was pansexual so why did i think it was okay to dump that onto her too."

"katsuki the way your mother felt is not your fault. she shouldn't have taken out her anger on you. nothing that happened was your fault. if your dad blamed you for it then he's a dumbass for doing so but i'm sure he doesnt—"

"how are you sure of that todorki? how do you know any of this? you cant sit there and tell me you're sure that he doesn't blame me and you can't tell me it's not my fault my mother left because it is. she wouldn't have left if i'd just been a straight girl but no i have to be a fucking tranny and a faggot of all things"

"first off katsuki don't call yourself those words and second you're right. i'm can't be 100% sure but i'm more sure of it than i am not sure. you're a child suki. none of this is your fault. it's not your job to take the fault here. you should never feel bad for the way you feel or how you are. your mom should have accepted you for you and i'm so sorry that she didn't.

bakugou opened his mouth to say something but then closed it. he sat up and looked at me. after staring at me for a while he finally spoke.

"why are you being so nice to me right now when you're just going to tell your friends about how much of a maniac i am when you leave"

"katsuki what do you mean"

"i mean you literally bash me when i'm not around. you go on rants about how much of an asshole i am and how i should've went easier on vomit girl"

"when did i—"

"the other day when vomit girl went to your room i eavesdropped cause you know i'm nosy and then the other day when i was walking by the classroom i heard you, tenya, and vomit girl which you know i heard"

fuck. i forgot about that.

"katsuki listen. i'm sorry about that day in the classroom. i was just upset because i thought about how big of a difference there is between your quirk and hers. i mean all ochako can do is make things float.  you can do so much more. i don't think it was fair you had to fight her. she  isnt strong enough to win or even go against you in a fight and not get severely injured. they should have had you fight someone stronger. that's just what i think and i know what i said makes me sound like a bad friend to ochako but she knows i think that way. i thought you would've seen the difference and gone easier on her but you didn't seem to be holding back"

"that's cause there isn't that much of a difference you fucking idiot. sure she's a girl but they have a higher pain tolerance than males so she would have been able to bear the pain. yeah her quirk is just her making things float and yeah my quirk is way better than hers but when have you not seen me give something my all? i'm not gonna go easy on someone just cause they're fucking weaker than me. if we're supposed to fight then i'm going to fight how i always fight. it hurt to know that you thought the same as everyone else. that you think i'm just some villainous kid who hurts people for fun. that i'm just some asshole. i thought you knew why. i thought you understood but you don't. "

"knew what? understood what?"

"that i don't want to be so angry all the time?! you know i have depression todoroki and you know i have adhd and you know i have anger issues. my fucking depression and adhd just makes my anger issues twenty times worse than a normal persons would be and sometimes it's not even my anger issues that make me angry. it's my fucking depression. i know most people think depression is just being sad all the time but it's not. i get angry for no reason. i just feel anger for no fucking reason and that alone makes me even more fucking mad and it drives me insane and sometimes it physically hurts to be angry all the time and see how it affects the people around me. do you think i want to be mean to people all the time??"