When We Slumber

10 | Nostalgia

"I miss my mom and dad," Shaunae mumbled.

I felt bad for her and her brother. I knew the loss they now knew would never go away and every time they remembered it, it would be like reliving the moment. "They're waiting for you in heaven, princess."

Shaunae pulled up the blanket to her neck and let out a long breath. "I wish I could go and visit sometimes."

"If you go you can't come back, so why don't you just try to be happy with your brother until the time comes for you to see them." Even I wish It was possible to visit my parents, but death doesn't work like that. I kissed Shaunae's forehead and switched her lamp off. "Goodnight, princess."

"Goodnight, Uncle Lucas.

It broke my heart to hear Shaunae talk like that. She was so young, too young to be feeling such heartbreak. I knew exactly what it felt like and I also knew no matter what, life would never be the same again. 

By the time I settled in my own bed, I started to think about my own parents. I remembered the bedtime stories my mom would sing for me because I liked the sound of her voice. On Sundays, my dad would take me fishing and I couldn't catch a single fish, but once we got home he would tell everyone that I caught the whole bucket. I would grin like a champ, but deep down I knew he only did it to make me feel good, and not as embarrassed as I should've been.  

The sounds of screams dragged me out of slumber, and upon lifting my heavy eyelids, I realized it was still the middle of the night. The horrified screams echoed through the walls again. Without thinking, I rushed out of bed and down the stairs, almost tumbling down the steps in the process. When I reached the guestroom where the twins had settled, I flung the door open.  The two children clung so tightly to each other that not even a little air could get between them. The sight dragged a bittersweet smile onto my face.  It was nice to see siblings caring for each other, but it broke my heart that it was under those circumstances. "Why'd you scream?" I asked them. "Did you get scared?" 

A teardrop slipped down Shaunae's cheek and I rushed to catch it before another one came. "We had a nightmare." 

"They'll separate us." Shaun cried. " I don't want them to separate us." 

I didn't know what to say, so I pulled them into my chest and held them there. They sobbed until they fell asleep. I felt like the monster in their dreams because I knew I would be the one who causes them to split up if they ever did. Sooner or later, the social services would've heard that I, Lucas Kensington, harbors homeless kids at my house. For as much as my neighbors never come out, they were all peeping toms and they saw and heard everything, especially the things you wouldn't want anyone to know. In the meantime, the least I could do was assure them, give them back the love and trust they once knew in their parents. I was a stranger, but somehow, the feel of them snuggled into my sides, and the sounds of their soft tired snores put me to sleep.  I slept like a child that didn't know anything about heartache yet.

In the morning, I woke up to the sound of hushed titter tatter and giggles.  I opened my eyes to the innocent faces of Shaun and Shaunae. 

"Good morning. Uncle Lucas," They greeted in unison. 

"Your eyes roll around when you sleep," Shaun added. "It makes you look funny."

"So that's why you were giggling, huh?" I began to tickle his sides, then caught Shaunae before she escaped the tickle monster. I tickled them until their laughs got silenced by the tension forming in the pit of their bellies. As soon as I stopped, they tackled me and tickled me to oblivion.  It was the most fun I've had in quite a while and the broken pieces of my heart were slowly drifting back together.

Since I didn't have to go to work, I decided to spend the day with the twins. They had forgotten about the nightmare they had had and it seemed to me, they were getting used to my company. We watched animated movies till I fell asleep and woke again. I would've much rather watch them watch the movies, but it was imperative I focused on the Tv so as to not miss out on anything.  I wasn't the type to binge on movies but when I looked in shaunae's eyes, there was a glint of something in them. It paralyzed all my efforts and will to deny her what she wanted. 

Even though they were kids, it was nice to finally spend time with people who truly appreciated me. Timothy, I was sure, appreciated me and loved me unconditionally, but this was different. It wasn't brotherly love. It was a love I'd never known before. It made me feel wanted and appreciated. I felt like even if I lost all the wealth I had, I wouldn't have to worry about not coming home to the same kind of love. It was pure and innocent and for the first time in a long time, my house felt like a real home. A home it never felt like, even when Kandy and I were on good terms or even when we had just gotten together and we were new lovebirds who couldn't keep their hands off of each other. 

If this was what it felt like to have kids, my father was right when he said my mom and I made him the happiest man in the world.