Foreign Feelings

Chapter Ten

Christmas Day was the happiest day of my entire life. It was everything I wanted and imagined. Draco has been nothing but sweet and loving to me and kept whispering how lucky he is to have snatched me up. I would joke back about how he's now stuck with me for life and he would tell me how he wouldn't want it any other way.

Unfortunately, this was all short lived a couple days later. It was the day before we were to return to Hogwarts. Draco went down to the kitchen to bring me breakfast in bed after we woke up. I was just laying in his bed tangled in the sheets and happily smelling his over sized shirt that I was wrapped in. Suddenly, Draco burst through the door with a panicked look on his face. I immediately sat up upon noticing.

"Draco, what's wrong?" I asked quickly.

"I'm so sorry Lydia. I didn't know he was going to be here. He's called an emergency meeting for all death eaters. The house will be full of them in a matter of minutes." He spills out, while pacing frantically about the room.

I run up to him and grab his face gently pulling it towards mine.

"Draco, breathe. It's going to be okay. Calm down. He doesn't have to know I'm here. I can stay up here and hide while you go to the meeting." I reassure him smoothly with a kiss on the forehead.

"Lydia, you have to stay here. Please don't come out until I come up here myself and get you. If he finds out about you, he'll force you to join him the way he forced the rest of us. That can't happen to you." He begs me with a fear stricken look. My heart breaks at his terrified expression.

"Draco, I promise I won't go anywhere. I'll stay here." I reassure him.

He lets a breath out trying to control his fear and wraps his arms around me. He gives me a long sweet kiss and slowly pulls away.

"Thank you baby. I have to go now. I'll be back right after the meeting." He kisses my forehead and rushes out of the room.

After he leaves, I feel the room grow cold. I suddenly feel a haunting presence knowing Voldemort is just downstairs. A murdering psychopath is downstairs with my loved ones. And I couldn't do anything about it. I shiver involuntarily and walk over to Draco's book collection to grab something that will distract me. I go sit on his bed with a random book and try to focus enough to read it. But I find myself just scanning the words on the pages but not really reading them. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't do it. I was terrified. I can act strong for Draco because he needs me to. He is allowed to fall apart because I'm the only he can fall apart with. And one of us has to be strong for the other in their time of need. But now Draco wasn't in the room. And my panic was creeping upon me quickly.

I grab the locket around my neck and watch the images it holds. I feel myself slowly start to calm down as it brings me closer to Draco. I watch it over and over until my eyes start to droop. I gladly accept the dreamless sleep that overcomes me to give my mind a break.

I wake to the sound of the bedroom door creaking open. It's Draco. I sigh heavily in relief and fling out of the bed and into his arms.

"You're okay" I breathe out, clinging to him.

His arms wrap tightly around me and strokes my head.

"I'm okay. And so are our parents. We're all okay." He says comfortingly.

We stand there like that for a few minutes before he leads us to the bed.

"What was the meeting about?" I ask quietly.

Draco gets a far off look in his eyes and it takes him a few moments to talk.

"He wants me to do it in a month. He knows I've mastered the vanishing cabinet. He thinks it's time. He went over the plan for the day it happens." He whispers defeatedly. My heart sinks thinking about the horrors Hogwarts will face in the next month. Our second home. It won't ever be the same. And Dumbledore. I never really knew him well but he's always been a kind man. He didn't deserve to die.

"Draco, there has to be something we can do. We can't just let this happen!" I say frustrated.

"Lydia, there's nothing we can do. If I don't do everything according to plan, he'll kill everyone I love and make me watch. And then he'll kill me. I can't take that chance." He says sternly.

"What if we told Dumbledore? He's the only other wizard alive who can take on Voldemort. Why should we help eliminate him? Why don't we use him?" I ask desperately.

"What makes you think we can trust Dumbledore? The second he finds out, he'd have me arrested and taken to Azkaban for being a death eater." He says angrily.

"Why must it be you? Why do you have to kill him?" I ask impatiently.

"I don't know Lydia! I didn't exactly have the chance to ask Voldemort that question. You don't question him or he kills you! I don't know why he chose me for this! I don't want this and there's many others who would jump at this opportunity. You don't think I ask myself this question every day? Why me?" He yells out angrily while standing abruptly and pacing back and forth.

"I'm sorry" I whisper sadly, not knowing what else to say.

Draco's hard eyes meet my solemn ones and they immediately soften. He walks over to me and kneels by the bed while taking my hands in his.

"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you. I'm just stressed out, and terrified out of my mind. I've tried to find loopholes. I've lost many nights of sleep trying to get out of this. And I've come up with nothing. It's hopeless. I can only do what he's asked of me and try not to get killed." He says solemnly, tears building in his eyes.

I squeeze his hands gently in a comforting way and run my fingers through his hair.

"Whatever happens, I'm with you. I'll never leave you alone. Please know that." I say softly.

"And whatever happens, I'll keep you safe." He kisses my hand gently.