Touch [Theodore Nott]

Need you Now

She's been a month in the infirmary.

Everyday I come visit her, I tell her all about my day and remind her that she needs to come back.

Shes still alive she just hasn't woken up, Madam Pomfrey said that now she has to fight it internally

I do my homework in the infirmary as I hold her hand. Ive gotten into the habit of reading out loud because I know she wouldn't have wanted to fall behind and well if she can hear me she'll at least be learning

Everything i've taken advantage of I miss so much. I miss when she'd tell me she was proud of me, I miss when she'd laugh at my cheesy jokes I miss her letters that are so thoughtful and sentimental

I hope when she wakes up she leaves me. I hope she realizes that i'm no good, that i'm rotten, that I don't deserve someone who writes me love letters and small notes in my textbooks

I hope she leaves me. Because I simply will never leave her. She means everything to me. I miss her voice most of all. I keep thinking about the first time we met

Flashback to their third year

"Who is that sitting down over there" I asked Blaise

"I don't know don't think i've seen her till now actually" we stared at her

"I think i'll go talk to her" I slyly walked over to her reading

"I'm Theodore Nott, most people just call me Theo. I was just talking to my friends and I realized I never introduced myself"

No response

"Hello" I waved my hand in front of her

"Oh you were talking to me?" She stared at me and I now am a believer at love at first sight

"Yeah I was" I tried to give her an impressive smile

"You probably shouldn't try to talk to people while their reading" she closed her book

"Theodore Nott" I extended my hand

"Flora Burke" She shook it and her hand was so small and soft

"Can I go back to reading or do you wish to talk more about how for two years you didn't know I existed" She raised her eyebrows

"Oh I uhh I didn't mean it like that"

"I'm only joking" She gave a small laugh

She has a sense of humor.

"I'll see you around" I smiled at her

"Very well" she went back to her book

"Well?" Montague asked

"I think I just found my next girlfriend" I said confidently

"Aren't you still dated Hailey?" Warrington asked bitterly

"Well after of course" I stayed looking at her flip through the pages.

End of flashback

How much things have changed. Ever since that moment we became friends and fourth year is when I started to actually develop real feelings for her. Not just physical attraction

"Theo" Warrington grabbed my shoulder

"She'll wake up I know she will" I said getting up

As the days went on I wanted to cut my forearm off. I almost did it just Blaise found me and stopped me

There's not a day that i'm sober. Nothing really works nothing gets me as high as her lips that tasted like strawberries or her laugh when she starts snorting

I spend all my hours by her bedside. May is coming meaning that the year will end soon. She'll be taken to St. Mungos and I can't be there for her

When i'm not with her i'm sleeping, it's pure bliss having dreams of her. Shes happy in all of them, shes glistening in all them and i'm certain that she was my small piece of heaven

I ask her everyday to wake up, I beg her to wake up.

I literally can't live with myself i'd pitch myself off the astronomy tower but I can't imagine someone having to tell her once she's waken up

I like rereading her letters

"Dear Theo,

You did amazing today in potions. Ive never been more proud of you. Maybe when you're older you can become a potioneer. Ive realized that we hardly fight, Pansy tells me it's the baby phase I hope we can stay in that phase forever.

Flora Burke"

Still looking at her elegant handwriting and sweet words makes me fall apart

She shouldn't have believed in me, she shouldn't have loved me, she shouldn't have told me I deserved good things in this world. She shouldn't love me

When May ended it broke my heart when I walked in and she was gone

"WHERE IS SHE" I yelled

"She was taken to St. Mungos" Madam Pomfrey answered

I knelt down. I hadn't even said goodbye. This was hell it had to be hell.

Draco fixed the cabinet. Their planning on breaking into Azkaban so father will be free soon. I hated being on this side of the war. I hoped it was one of her brothers who would kill me during the war

June felt like the longest month of my life. I wondered how I'd be able to see her. Would her parents allow me? Will my dad allow me? The Burke family was high up on the death eater hit list

I was extremely drunk when the death eater attack happened

I stayed in my room I knew Draco would be leaving from now on and not come back. Father said I had to come back next year that I at least needed to finished my years at hogwarts

Now that Floras gone i'm counting down the days till school ends so I can find her and see her again Each day without her has been terrible. Ive started to wish that I was with mum. Or that mum was still here, she would have loved Flora.

My heart stopped when Daphne said Floras parents said that because of her last name she couldn't see Flora.

No way in hell they'd let me. I hate myself. I took advantage of everything and now I am literally nothing without her.

School ended and I went to the graveyard by myself. Father like the coward he was never came to visit her.

"Hey mumsy" I set down her favorite flowers

"I wish you were here. I know you'd tell me exactly what to do. Or at least what to say to her. You would've loved her mum. She's kind and she's so strong willed. She thinks for herself and she puts herself last always. A lot like you. Please mum watch over her. Shes the only person I feel I will ever truly need. So please take care of her."

__________________________________

" Picture perfect memories
Scattered all around the floor
Reaching for the phone cause
I can't fight it anymore.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind.
For me it happens all the time.
It's a quarter after one.
I'm all alone and I need you now.
Said I wouldn't call, but I lost all control
And I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now." Need your Now by Lady antebellum