Touch [Theodore Nott]

505

Surprisingly ive grown closer with Pansy, she's going through the same with Draco

"He's not the same anymore Flora" she laid on my bed face to face

"None of them are Pans" shes the first person I admitted that things were great between us anymore

"I used to want what you and Theo had so badly" She closed her eyes and a tear fell down her face

"We've never been perfect" I didn't want her to think that we were

"You guys were as near perfect as it gets, I once asked him how long he planned on being with you and he told me "For as long as she allows me to love that pure heart of hers"

I felt my eyes start watering because things simply weren't like that anymore

"I'm sure Draco loves you, you seem to be the only one who sees the real him" I tried to comfort her

"Please he loves the attention I give him, he loves how i'm always at his command" she turned to face the ceiling

"I miss the people we used to be Pans" I stared at her from the side

"Me too Flora me too"

-

Daphne was not the the most understanding

"Come on Flora be realistic all you guys do is fight" she raised her tone

"Merlin that's an exaggeration" I frantically said

"Explain the bruises you think I don't see you repare them after you spend any time with him" She walked over

"It's not like that" I walked backwards

"You're my best friend I hate seeing you like this" "You hardly sleep, you hardly eat you, all you worry about is if Theo will be kind to you" She was right and I didn't want to admit it

"What do you know about love Daphne" I stood my ground

"What I know about love is that it's not supposed to be draining it's not supposed to make you miserable CANT YOU SEE"

"Fuck Daphne" I kicked my nightstand

"Love is a million things some times it feels good sometimes it doesn't" "But I love Theo and he loves me" I straighten my back

"I just don't want to see you get hurt Flora, more than you already are" She walked towards the door

"And let me make it clear that Theo is more than capable of hurting you" She said as she walked out the room

"MY LIFE IS TUMBLING AND YOUR'RE THE ONE FALLING APART" I punched the wall my newest coping mechanism i've learned from Theo

I knelt down and let out the cry I've been holding in

I held my knees and just swayed. Why did Daphne have to be right.

But she doesn't understand.

Why can't she understand that his arms are the only place I feel safe. That when he hurts me with each kiss he takes the pain away or that only his eyes see the best of me.

I don't care if he hurts or ruins me. What I care about is that beautiful wide smile, I care about those kind deep blue eyes I care about that deep laugh that feels like a melody in my head.

"He's more myself than I am, whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same"

Even kissing him was different. His hand around my neck. He no longer gave me small sweet kisses it's now always aggressive and he always wanted more.

Choking was his new favorite thing, wrapping them so tightly over my neck that it leaves bruises. I'm usually able to repair them, some of them the dark purple ones can't be repaired by magic

"Can you not" I pried his hands off my neck

" I just need to feel in control of something" He ran his fingers up my skirt

Why was my love not enough to save us. I had loved him more than I probably loved myself. But still it wasn't enough. Sometimes I wonder if anything will be enough.

Because i'm getting pretty fucking tired.

But I wish everyone would stop giving me fucking advice.

"Are you okay?" Warrington asked me in the library

"Fine" I lied

I saw him staring at my face "You don't seem fine" he said so concerned

"Can you not" I snapped

"Why are you even still with him? Neither of you seem happy" He said as if it were the simple

"Fuck off Warrington if I wanted relationship advice I would ask for it" I grabbed my books and walked out

I just walked around with no place to go until I ran into Malfoy and Theo

"Hey" He put his arm over me

"I'm having a bad day, just one of those days" I sighed, usually Theo was able to notice

"Want to shag?"

"Theo are you fucking kidding me" I threw his arm off me

"Merlin take a joke" he snapped

"Just because the answers to your problems are in between my legs" I rolled my eyes

"Fuck I miss when you had a sense of humor, you're acting like a bitch" He walked away from me. I watched as his shadow got smaller and smaller

Yeah Theo and I just fucking miss you.

____________________________________

"I probably still adore you with your hands around my neck
Or I did last time I checked" 505 By Arctic Monkeys