Freak

18.

Should I even bother apologizing anymore? Sorry...

I hope some of you are still here and enjoying the story. I know it's very different from what it once was and I feel kind of bad for it to be honest. Anyways... I kind of like some parts of this chapter and I hope you do too!

Oh and we will have a visit from a well-known character from another amazing work of art! Namely from my all time favorite book, though most people have only seen the movie, I'd love to know if you find the character!

// Linnéa <3

18.

The man on the other side of the thin metal bars peered at her curiously, eyes glinting in wonderous amazement.

"Your letters will be dispatched within the week miss." Blue smiled at the man, hiding the disgust she felt from the way he looked at her "Thank you" she said, her voice nothing more than a whisper.

With haste she turned her back on him and nimbly zigzagged between the people at the post office, making sure to keep the blue fabric of her dress from brushing against them. It was with a heavy sigh of relief she broke out into the warm sunlight, the dusty air of the little town filling her lungs. Esmeralda waved at her from the other side of the street, motioning for her to come over. Her thick beard and wild eyebrows drew as much attention as the violent shades of green and orange in her flamboyant dress and her deep rumbling laughter. Generally people shied away when the freaks came to town but not from Esmeralda, there was something about her that peaked their curiosity, something, unlike the rest of the freaks, that evaporated their fear. Blue loved her for that, always had, or at least for as long as their always had existed.

Just over six years earlier Blue woke up in a small bumpy bed, it was shaking from side to side and it took her a good long minute to figure out that it was in fact moving, well the bed wasn't but the little room she was in did. There was a curved green ceiling above her and from it hung all types of trinkets, dried roses, pieces of fabric, toys and jewelry. She was so entranced by the way they swayed from side to side that she didn't notice the odd woman at the end of the narrow room. And when she finally did notice her, Blue was still ashamed over this, she screamed. Never in her life had se seen a woman like Esmeralda and the whole situation had simply been too much for her to handle, so she screamed and cried until the woman had enough and asked her to 'please consider to shut the hell up'. It worked, Blue did shut the hell up, and Esmeralda smiled at her, it was one of those smiles that tell you everything is going to be alright, one like Hosea's.

She had taken Blue under her wing and was the closest thing to a mother she had had since her own died. The first few days with the circus had been a nightmare and if she hadn't had Esmeralda Blue was sure she would have simply fallen to the ground and died of sorrow. She comforted her when she cried, nursed her cuts and bruises, told her everything she needed to hear and saved her from punishments when she tried to run away. Because she did try, many, many times. During her first year it was constant, second year more seldomly and then as the years passed, her will faded and as life moved on she came to some form of acceptance. This was her life now, she traveled, she performed, she repeated for one, two, three, four, five and finally six years. She was a young woman, well loved by her friends and respected enough by her superiors, yet there was something she missed, something she longed for and had longed for for six whole years. Her family.

The circus was a kind of family, sure, but no matter how many years went by and however much she loved them, they weren't what she chose, they weren't Hosea or Dutch, Miss Grimshaw or Jack or Charles, and most of all, they weren't Arthur, no one would ever be her papa. It was odd to her, she'd known the people of the circus longer than she ever knew the gang and yet she couldn't help but want them back. Where the gang was warm and joyful the circus was often competitive and cold. The freaks were loving but the acrobats and the rest of 'the pretty ones' as they were called on the inside, weren't always the nicest. They were vain and selfish, loving the attention they got during performance. Unfortunately, Blue had found herself partly being one of them, she was a freak but not freak enough for it to be her only use in the show. She flipped back and forth between horseback-acrobatics and the freak-exhibition, and during special occasions she was even a part of the areal-acrobatics.