Dear... - feufeu15

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Third place winner: Dear

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Third place winner: Dear... by feufeu15

Letters to my ex Challenge 

Dear...

– Not ex because you've never been mine to lose, despite all my stakes.

– Not lover, even though in my wildest dreams, we would have been perfect for each other.

– Not friend when you didn't spare me a second glance, and I will never forgive myself for missing my chance to catch your gaze then.

– Actually, not anything because you've been my everything, but to you, I will always be nothing.


So I guess, it's just Dear... You,

You, that's the start and the end of everything for me.

It's the start of each of my heartbeat, and the end of my sanity.


Dear you,

I thought it would be easy to write this letter.

Written words, it's at what I've always been better,

And it may sound cheezy,

But with you, nothing is easy.

I hoped it would allow me to get this out of my chest and restart,

Yet you're engraved too deep in my heart.

How to put a billion feels apart in just one letter?

It seems as impossible as you and me together.


You and me, that's what I should pen

Because this page will be the only place ever again

For those two words together,

Along with a picture

That feels bitter-sweet.


Actually, bitter-sweet is what I meet

Every time I greet you in my mind.

A sick feeling takes over inside

Each time that lovely day turns back to my memory,

How you discarded me

As quickly as an unread card or cheap jewelry.

Yet you always seem to remind me

Why it's been only you all along.

As sweetly as a favorite song

All these details flow naturally

To wrap around each part of me

That would fit with yours like five to one

Because we have so much in common

Except for one thing that breaks the harmony

And leaves me with a lonely melody:

You'll never feel the way I do,

And I can't even be mad at you

Because you've broken my heart

The same way you've made me fall in the start,

Without doing anything else,

Just by being yourself,

And that's what makes these feelings outlast.


However, I'm not doing this to dwell on the past,

I have enough time at night,

And nothing can re-write,

No matter how many words I could invent,

The past and the present.


I can only live with it a little bit longer,

And even though it would be easier,

I can't say there is only bad in sight;

There is also so much light.

I could say I've lost myself through it all,

But no, I've found myself in this downfall.

Even though it isn't the happy end I was hoping,

I can stand like a queen without a prince charming.


So I guess this is goodbye, even if my heart still believes hopelessly,

And I will keep you there forever, in a little part that is only yours sincerely


P.S.: You will probably never read those lines,

as you didn't even skim any others the previous times,

But without what could have been 'us',

I still wish you love and happiness.

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