Rude Awakenings: A Novel of the Terribly Acronymed Detective Club (Book 2)

Chapter Forty-Two: Lauren, Winter, 2010

Auntie Rachel, as the kids called her now, weaved among them wearing a Santa hat, passing them gifts from under the little artificial tree she and Al kept in the corner, a tree Samson kept chewing on when he wasn't trying to remove his red and green plaid bow tie, pulling at it with his rear leg. The bow tie was Rachel's idea, Al lamented. "Samson is a beast," he said. "He can't be constrained by a tie, he needs to be free to hunt and kill."

"All he hunts are the crumbs at the kids' feet," Rachel said, gesturing to the shortbread particles falling every time they took bites. Lauren self-consciously bent to pick them up. "Don't bother," Rachel said, "The four-legged vacuum will get it."

"You really didn't have to get them gifts," she said. "They got enough from us and from their extended family."

"It's our pleasure," Rachel said. "We don't have any kids or nieces or nephews to spoil, why not the children of our best friends?"

Naomi, Tosh, Harpreet and Ajit tore into their gifts immediately, barely waiting until they all had them in their hands. Wrapping paper went flying, and they squealed in delight at the toys and clothes they got.

"Hey, look, Star Wars figures," Sunny said. "What's old is new again."

"Have you watched any of those prequels?" Al asked.

Sunny grimaced. "That first one with Jar-Jar Binks just turned me off the whole franchise."

"Oh my God!" Lauren cooed. "Rachel, are those clothes from Gap Kids?!"

"Yeah, why?" she asked.

"That's way too expensive! They're going to outgrow this stuff in a few months, maybe wear them a couple of times."

Rachel shrugged. "Your kids are gorgeous, they should wear gorgeous clothes."

"The clothes are gorgeous, but if you ever have kids you'll find out quickly that you'll blow your budget if you raise them in Gap Kids," Tej said. "We appreciate the gesture, though. Kids, what do you say to Auntie Rachel and Uncle Alistair?"

All four of them uttered the flat thank you of kids induced to politeness everywhere. When they set to opening their toys, Rachel turned to Lauren and Tej and said, "Well, we're not having kids, so we can spoil yours every now and then."

"Didn't you two think you might try fostering at some point?" Sunny asked.

"Yes, maybe after we live together a while. And I guess we're going to have to move again before that happens, too, because we only have the one bedroom here. I'm sure social services won't want the child sleeping on the couch."

"Maybe if the couch was a pull-out bed?"

"It's not, but if Samson continues his shredding spree, I may get rid of this and replace it with one that is."

"So, what did you get Al for Christmas?" Lauren asked.

Rachel smirked. "Al needed a little sartorial improvement, so I got him a selection of items designed to hug his frame, in colours that compliment his skin tone, hair and eyes. Al wears clothes that are too baggy, he's slimmer than he lets on."

"I prefer the term comfortable to baggy," Al said. "The clothes she got me are dryclean only. I've never drycleaned anything in my life, except for a suit I spilled food on at a wedding once."

"Welcome to the world of adults," Sunny said. "Has she taught you to iron yet?"

"It's my life's mission," Rachel said, "but he continues to elude my education."

"I don't have a lot of dryclean only stuff either," Joe said.

"Thanks, Joe," Al said. "It all depends on the work you do. You're a bigshot lawyer, Sunny, so you need to look sharp for your clients. I don't even deal with the public, and Joe probably spends more time on construction sites than he does meeting bigwig developers."