nineteen

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TW: Sex
If this makes you uncomfortable don't read past the second set of ellipses.

• • • • •

The first few days back in classes went by incredibly slow. It was tough not seeing the boys every minute of every day, I had gotten used to sleeping with James, sleeping in late, breakfast made by Remus and Sirius. I missed the holiday already.

Since I was back to sleeping alone, I slept restlessly and often woke up with nightmares, asking for James.

Jolie even had to wake me up once because I started talking and thrashing in my sleep. After calming me down, she laid down in bed next to me so I could fall asleep.

It wasn't the same though.

My lack of sleep was making me increasingly irritable, which didn't go unnoticed.

I had my head hung down at the breakfast table, staring intently at my cereal.

"What's wrong with you?"

I slammed my spoon down on the table, "Nothings wrong-, why would something be wrong with me?"

"You're quiet and angry, and keep zoning off."

Remus tried to get Sirius to shut up, but failed, making James widen his eyes at Sirius as if telling him not to say anything stupid.

"I'm fine, I just don't feel well." I admitted, trying not to scowl at Sirius.

His grey eyes narrowed, "Bloody hell! Are you pregnant?"

"Do I look pregnant to you?"

"Don't answer that." James mumbled.

Sirius held up his hands, "You don't! I'm trust trying to find an explanation and I can't find one other than Prong's pullout game."

Remus smacked Sirius upside the head, finally silencing him.

I stabbed my fork into my sausage, "I am not pregnant. I am exhausted-, I can't sleep through the night, I have nightmares, and I hate my fucking bed!"

My eyes began to pool, and I quickly blinked the tears away, making sure that no one saw.

James wrapped his arm around my shoulders and kissed me on the head, "Hey, let's go for a walk. How's that sound, love?"

I nodded and grabbed my bookbag, slinging it over my shoulder before taking James' hand as we walked out of the Great Hall.

He led me down the corridor before turning and leading me into the abandoned girls' lavatory.

"James, what are we do-"

James pushed me against the wall, wrapping his arms around my waist. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing." I lied, looking down at my shoes.

He tilted my chin up, "Don't lie to me."

The tears began to pool again, and this time I didn't blink them away.

"I-, I am exhausted," I sighed, "I can't sleep, and when I do, I either have awful nightmares or get woken up by Jolie because I started talking and thrashing in my sleep. Then, she has to sleep in my bed with me, otherwise, I feel like I'm going to have a panic attack."

I took a breath as a single tear slid down my face, but was quickly wiped away by James.

"Hey-, hey, don't cry darling." James whispered as he pulled me into a hug.

I wrapped my arms around his body and pulled him tighter.

"Were the nightmares always this bad?" James mumbled as we pulled apart from our hug.

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