𝘖𝘏 𝘈𝘕𝘈 - 𝘛𝘖𝘔𝘔𝘠𝘐𝘕𝘕𝘐𝘛

twenty-nine.

unknown similarities.

"did you visit me because you wanted to, or because wilbur told you?" tommy immediately questioned once the sound of footsteps distanced from the newly-closed door. niki warmly smiled - when did she not? - and shook her head.

"i came to see you because i was worried, tommy. i care about you, so do all of your other friends."

the blond couldn't decipher whether or not she was telling the truth. despite being known for her kindness and empathy - it annoyed him to some degree (especially when he sometimes wished he could work the way she did, when he'd lay awake at night begging to be likable, for people to never hesitate when asked the question, 'are you friend's with tommyinnit?') - whatever thoughts running laps around his head decided otherwise, told him the girl was only there for pity's sake. maybe his mood dropped a little when he thought about it; the boy wouldn't admit it aloud.

of course, however, she was the easiest person to talk to about his emotions. sweet, encouraging, empathetic, the girl was a walking saint in disguise for anyone in need of a hand to hold. he'd spoken with her a couple of times before, usually when he was stressed from college work or couldn't sleep at night (nothing like the situation he was currently trapped in), though the conversation was always brought up awkwardly - when a silence between them would stretch for longer than either was comfortable for, and tommy just had to find himself mindlessly rambling about his terrible day to fill the void. he mostly blamed himself for his inability to talk to the girl, despite always pinning it on her for no reason. she never minded, though. always apologized when he complained that her talking skills were shit. a walking saint. much unlike his own rude manners. their calls would always end with tommy feeling worse than before.

he didn't enjoy feeling sad in front of people, despite how much he was starting to show it recently. sadness was labeled with vulnerability, weakness. tommyinnit wasn't weak, he was a man. sitting in that hospital, the place where he knew he'd receive nothing but pity, he decided to choose a different emotion than sadness, an emotion he's happened to grow familiar with, one he always regrets running to when things don't go how he wants. maybe things weren't going how he wanted.

"i think you're lying. do you really care? really? i know i'm covered in wires and shit, niki, but i'm not stupid."

before he could finish his sentence the elder was already interrupting - politely, and with a gentle 'sorry' as well - to shut down all of his doubts, rushing out simple assurances so that the blond's head wouldn't blow a fuse much too quickly. niki, being aware that they weren't going to see eye-to-eye (given that wilbur explained several times on the car ride there, and she was ready to combat his worries with her own certainties), decided on attempting to keep the boy leveled so that he could voice his emotions to her. being alone whilst dealing with something as serious as an eating disorder was horrible enough. she'd hate to think tommy believed that the undeniable support from all of his friends wasn't real.

"i promise you, tommy, we all care so much for you. we are just worried. we want to make sure that you are okay."

"no, no, you don't get it," the blond muttered, interrupting, words sharp despite their underlying disappointment, "you just feel bad for me, that's why you're here. wilbur probably made you visit cause he didn't know what to do with me."

"tommy, that is not true-" she tried, nevertheless failing upon being cut off once more.

"it's fine, niki, you can be honest with me. i won't feel bad or some shit, if that's what you're worried about. i'm alright. you can tell them to come back in now, there's nothing to really talk abou-"

"i understand! i understand most out of everyone! i know what it feels like, tommy!" the girl slightly raised her voice - it grew sharper, her accent more defined, he noticed - to interject, afraid of not being able to speak over the boy. it was an issue she faced quite a lot, though, another time to worry about, she presumed. right now she was focused on comforting a rather stubborn blond. she couldn't blame him, nothing that happened between developing his illness was his fault. with a small sigh to regain composure, she softly continued.

"i have struggled with what you are going through, tommy, i get it."

the room turned silent after her final words. tommy half-expected her to elaborate whilst niki's mind was bordering on thoughts of how to calm him if he grew angry. the younger decided on speaking, slowly testing words on his tongue as if he had been gifted a new set of vocal cords.

"you.." he started, voice hesitant as he tried to select the correct words, "you.. 'get it?'"

"yes, i do," niki nodded, "i have been where you are right now, tommy. that is why i am trying to tell you that you are not alone. i promise you, i did not come to visit out of pity. i truly care for you, and so does everyone else."

it was quiet - a little familiar - as the blond processed the girl's words, brows etching in something of deep thought and uncertainty. he believed her, niki wasn't someone to lie about things like this (hell, anything, for that matter), but his conscience scolding him to be respectful about her personal life battled with the need to pry, to question everything she just admitted to him. he wanted to know more without intruding or popping any personal bubbles.

"niki?" he piped up, tone quieter than it previously was. then he was meeting it again, that soft, sympathetic gaze. he was sure that their following conversation wasn't going to turn out like the last ones.

"yes, tommy?"

"can we.. talk? like how we used to do?"

"of course, we can. would you like a hug first?"

"yeah," he sighed, "yeah, i really would."