Pull Me Back - Kuroo x Reader

Chapter 6

When I get home, I feel like I'm in a daze. What just happened? Did I seriously just refuse to let the funny, handsome, genius help me and walk me home?

"Of course you did," A voice in my head says. "You're a coward, remember?

Another voice counters it: "Well, why would you let him get close to you? What would come of that anyways? You want him to be your boyfriend? Yeah, I doubt he would feel the same way. High school boyfriends mean nothing anyways, why are you getting so ahead of yourself?"

Feeling empty and ashamed of myself, I kick off my shoes and go to my room. Shutting my door, I take off my bra and climb into bed. I want to fall asleep, to give my mind a break, but one thought keeps turning over and over in my mind.

"I hate you, I hate you, I hate you..."

I can't stand myself.

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I wake up to my mom knocking on my bedroom door. She peeks her head in. When she sees me in bed, she opens the door quietly and comes in.

"Y/n, what's going on, baby? Are you okay?"

I try to smile, I don't want to worry her. "Yeah Mom, I'm okay, school was just a little stressful today. It's okay though."

"You want to talk about it?" She asks, sitting on the edge of my bed, running her hands through my hair soothingly.

It's such a sweet gesture, I can barely take it. I sit up, yawn, and shake my head.

"I think I just needed a nap to clear my head. I feel a lot better now, I promise I'm okay."

She doesn't look completely convinced, but she doesn't push the subject. "So what would you like to have for dinner? I was thinking about ordering something to celebrate us completing our first mini week in Toyko!"

"Mom, it's only been two days, you realize that, right?"

"Ah, technicalities! We deserve a celebration!"

With that, we order food and eat on the couch, watching Attack on Titan. My mother tells me that she wants a man like Erwin next time around. I can't disagree with her.

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I wake up late on Saturday and decide to go find a calm place to sketch for a while. I walk around our neighborhood, enjoying the sun, but eventually find myself at a beautiful little park about ten minutes from my house. I sit down on a wooden bench and begin to sketch.

I start with some quick urban sketches of my surroundings. The people, the movements, the scenery. I usually warm up this way, keeping the sketches quick and easy.

Next, I move on to more abstracted sketches. I like to incorporate my surroundings with my moods, creating a complex work that only I can understand. Some people like to record their feelings in a journal, but this is the way that works best for me. I'm not brave enough to actually write how I feel on paper, so I sketch my feelings instead.

A few hours pass, and I decide it's time to pack up when I cannot feel my ass anymore. Putting my pencils and sketchbook into my bag, I feel more at peace than I have in a while. Of course I know it won't last, but it feels good to feel at least some peace, no matter how fleeting.

I hum to myself as I walk back home. The sun is hot on my shoulder and I find myself wishing I put some sunscreen on before I left the house. It's been abnormally hot this late spring/early summer. The heat is also making me crave something cold...and sweet...like ice cream mochi. The convenient store is directly on my route home, it's like I was meant to stop. Of course, there's the issue of Kuroo...I definitely do not want to run into him after I lied about being busy and refused to let him walk me home. I'm pretty sure buying ice cream mochi in the middle of the day is the opposite of being busy.

In the end, my stomach rumbles, and my fate is sealed. I need the mochi. He wasn't there last time I went in, so he probably won't be working this time either. Yeah, he definitely won't be!

I basically jog the remaining distance to the store, craving mochi now very intensely.

As I open the door, I quickly glance toward the register. Kuroo looks back at me. We stare at each other.

Damn. This is awkward.

He is about to say something, but I grab a basket and make a mad dash to the freezer section. It's stupid, I'll have to talk to him soon enough because he's the cashier, but I just need a bit to build up the courage to face him.

I scan the freezer aisle, frantically searching for the mochi. Spotting it, I take out a pack of the match-flavored ice cream one. I also pick up a few other ingredients we need at home. Finally, I start to make my way to the front to check out.

Another customer is in front of me, checking out, so I wait, gently swinging my basket back and forth. Kuroo glances towards me a couple times and he helps the customer in front of me. The person in front of me finishes and leaves, and then it's jus Kuroo and me.

"Hey..." I say, placing the basket on the counter.

"Hey y/n..." He replies. Damn, this is so awkward.

He continues, "It, uh, looks like you've had a good day, or, rather, that your day is about to get good". He holds up the box of ice cream mochi and shakes it lightly.

"Yeah, it's hot outside, so I needed something to cool me down. Nothing cools me down like ice cream mochi," I say, shrugging my shoulders. We fall into silence as he continues to scan things. I didn't think Kuroo was an awkward person, but somehow this has turned out to be one of the most awkward situations ever.

"Y/n, did I do something?" He says, breaking the silence.

I look up at him and see that he's genuinely asking, his eyes are concerned and a little...scared?

"I mean, it's fine if you just didn't want to do anything with me, like I get it. I know I can come across a little strong at times, but I wasn't lying to you. I like talking to you and I wouldn't mind getting to know you better."

I try to collect my thoughts and come up with something that's not unintentionally bitchy to say.

"No, it's not that Kuroo. I like talking to you too, it's just...It's just..." Gosh, I don't know if I can say it. "It's just I can't figure out why you would want to get to know me better or why you like talking to me. I'm sure you have plenty of friends at school to hang out with and I'm just some random girl who transferred halfway through the first term." My hands feels shaky.

Kuroo is looking at me like he's looking at an alien. He opens his mouth, closes it, then opens it again and says, "I don't even know what to say to that. I don't understand why you think I need some big reason or grand plan to get to know you, to like you. You're cool and endearing. I thought that from the second you showed up here with four boxes of mochi. Isn't that enough?"

"I--you think I'm cool?"

Kuroo is now looking at me dumbfoundedly. "Uh, yeah, I mean, that is what I said. I know you're quiet and I don't think you like being the center of attention, but you're funny, sort of sarcastic, and just easy to talk to, to joke around with."

"You don't even know me though, how can you think that?"

"Y/n please, do you hear what I'm saying? I want to get to know you, I'm trying to get to know you better!"

"Fine."

"What?"

"Fine. If you really want to get to know me, let's study for the chem quiz tomorrow at the park by here. I don't blame you if you decide you don't want to get to know me more though, I really won't."

Smiling and shaking his head slightly, Kuroo says, "I highly doubt that will be the case, but okay, let's do some chemistry tomorrow at the park. What time?"

"Hmm...Does noon work for you?"

"Yeah, noon works for me," He says, handing me my bags. "I'll see you tomorrow then, y/n. Enjoy your mochi."

I leave before I can back out.