Hamilton lyric stories

I am damaged

"I am damaged..."

I didn't believe him when he said that. But in reality, I knew he was. I love him so much but... what we have... is it too much? Or is it enough?

"Far too damaged..."

That's not true...

"But you're not beyond repair..."

I glanced up at him. He only smiled back. My love... the man, I let all my moralities go for... he loves me. I love him. My dearest.... Charles.

They look at him and say he's gone insane. That's not true. He just needs some help. I can help him. But in the end I know the truth...

"Stick around here,
Make things better"

He smiled, I had no idea what was going through his mind. But here we were standing in the middle of his house.

He had started saying some concerning things to me. Things that people would consider crazy. But I knew something else was up. He's crying.

"Cuz you beat me fair and square..."

I had talked him out of killing some people who like to mess with me. My Charlie isn't a murderer but I admit, it's mostly because I've stopped him.

"Sammy..."

I snapped out of my thoughts at the mention of my name.

"You know I love you so much right Sammy?"

"Of course, I love you too, with everything I have."

He only smiled and walked away, grabbing something.

"Please stand back now..."

I took a step back. But he only frowned.

"Little further..."

I was confused but took 5 more steps back. Then he pulled out the thing he had grabbed....... A rifle. Oh gosh was he going to kill me.

If this is my love's will then so be it my fate. I will die, knowing my blood was spilled by his hand and no other. I'm satisfied with that...

"Don't know what this thing will do..."

I only smiled at him. He smiled back as if reading my thoughts. But the thing was, he never pointed it at me.

"Hope you miss me..."

What?

"Wish you'd kiss me..."

What is he on about?

"Then you'd know I worship you..."

It touched my heart but I became concerned. But realization dawned on me when I saw where the rifle was pointed.

"I'll trade my life for yours..."

"OH MY GOD!" I practically screamed.

His calm demeter and smile never fading.

"And once I DISAPPEAR!"

By now tears were pouring down his face along with mine as well.

"WAIT HOLD ON!"

I couldn't lose him! Not my Charlie! I tried to step towards him only making him back up. I got scared if I took another step he may pull the trigger.

"CLEAN UP THE MESS DOWN HERE!"

"NOT THIS WAY!"

I practically fell to my knees praying to God, not to take my Charlie. I was a sobbing mess begging God no, begging Charlie to not leave me.

"Sammy... Look at me please..." The desperation in his voice made me look up.

He looked so happy. It dawned on me in that instant. He never was happy, he always wanted something better. Maybe, he'll be happy like this.

"Our love is God..."

A flashback of when we had our first month together came to me. He said the exact same thing and it became our thing. Though I never said it much, not wanting to offend God.

"Our love is god..."

Tears were running down my face. I wanted to say it back but I couldn't bring myself to. If I tried, I would break out into sobs again.

"Our love is god..."

He'll be happier in a place that can give him eternal happiness. Maybe this is for the best. Maybe this is what my Charlie needs....

A new start.

"Our love is god!"

I wiped away the tears and stood up. I pushed back the sobs. Forcing myself to smile just for him. One last time...

I turned my back. And walked to the front door. I put my hand on the door knob but stopped.

"Say hi to god..."

I said glancing over my shoulder. He only smiled back. I turned back to the door and opened it. I stepped to walk out.

But I couldn't do it.

Instead, I turned and ran to him. He had his eyes closed I pushed the rifle out of the way just as he pulled the trigger. It barely missed his head, it got a nick at it making his head bleed. I had practically tackled him doing this.

We were on the ground with me on top hugging him tightly. I could tell he was surprised but before he could speak, I spoke.

"Don't leave me please..." I whispered with tears cascading down my face.

I buried my head in his chest.

"I love you so much... I know this is selfish but I can't lose you. You're everything to me... And I'll be damned if I lose one of the only good things in this life. Charles, my love, my dear, my world. Don't leave... if you can't live for yourself or this broken world or anyone else, then live for me. Please I can't lose you. You're everything I've ever wanted. I'm selfish, for trying to make you stay in this world you're not happy in. I want you to live the happiest life but I can't bear to lose you. I would rather have you still on this Earth happy with someone else then watch you die by your own hand. If you die, then I will die with you."

I could practically feel the shock.

"We're like the famous star crossed lovers, Romeo and Juliet. Except we're torn apart by society. But they do what they will. They can ridicule us. They can spite me for even having relations with you. But none of them will keep me from you. I will always come back to you. For I am loyal to you only. And if you wish for death, I'll gladly follow you. Reciting the final line of Juliet, 'O happy dagger, this is thy sheath: there rust, and let me die.'"

There was silence for awhile before I felt Charles's chest move up and down and heard him. Only when I heard him did I realize he was chuckling but that soon became laughter. I looked up, upon his face and saw the tears rolling down his cheeks. I sat up on him and wiped them away. He sat up with me and put his hand on my cheek. I put my hand over his.

"Oh Samuel, you are my king, my darling, my own personal angel. God has blessed me with someone so wonderful and faithful. I don't really believe in God but if you believe, then I will. If it is your will then let it be written and so let it be done. I'll stay by your side for eternity."

I beamed and so did he. We kissed ever so passionately. We pulled away and he said.

"I love you my beautiful, darling angel."

I only smiled bigger.

"I love you as well my insane, dark, King."

He only chuckled at that.

"You're the only thing that keeps me sane in this idiotic world. I am damaged, but I have the capability to keep going. Till death do us part..."

I grabbed his hand and kissed it.

"Till death do us part."