I Will Always Be Here

3

TW's:
-Depression
-Usage of too many pills (not as in suicide attempt)

Clay left after I shut the door in his face. My mum went probably back to bed. I walked upstairs and knocked on her door. I heard her hum softly so I opened the door.

'Hey, why are you here, sweetie?'

'I can't be in school. I fell asleep, I'm too tired. Mum, can I please borrow a sleeping pill? I want to sleep now.'

'You can't take those now.'

'I want to, mum. Please. I'm so tired, I can't anymore. Please.'

'Okay, fine. They are in the bathroom, it's the blue bottle.'

I nodded and ran to the bathroom. I needed it now. I grabbed the bottle and read the description. I was only allowed to take one, but I didn't care. I took three pills and directly swallowed them. I went to my bed and it took twenty minutes when I started feeling really loopy and sleepy. I laid down and almost immediately fell asleep.

I slept for hours, when I woke up it was dark outside. I had slept the whole day and I probably couldn't wake up since I took more pills than I was allowed to. I stood up and sneaked to the bathroom. I wasn't tired anymore, but when I saw it was 3 am, I decided to take some sleeping medication again and grabbed the bottle. I took two this time and went back to bed. I checked my Discord and saw Clay was online.

Clay
ur awake?

You
so r u

Clay
ye i was texting someone

You
who

Clay
a friend

I felt jealous, I didn't know why. I felt like this more often. I was jealous as soon as Clay chatted with someone else than me. Even though I pushed him away very often.

Clay
u ok?

You
y

Clay
ur awake late

You
so r u idiot

I ignored him and put my phone down. It took a few minutes before I started feeling sleepy again. I fell asleep in five minutes.

I didn't have a nightmare the whole night and when I woke up I startled. It was 10 am. I ran downstairs and saw my mum sitting.

'Why haven't you woken me up?' I screamed. 'I have school, mum.'

She smiled softly. 'Sorry, I overslept too. George, have you taken too many sleeping pills? I was missing 5 instead of 1.'

'I have school.'

I grabbed my bag and started running. I was already an hour and a half too late, but I still ran as hard as I could. I was completely out of breath when I arrived at school and I pushed the door open. I ran inside and sat down for a little. I felt like throwing up, I ran so incredibly hard. I waited five minutes for the bell to ring and went to my class. I had class with Sapnap and Clay. When I arrived at my class, I quickly sat down. I acted like I didn't see Clay next to me and he placed his hand on my shoulder.

'Hi? Where have you been?'

'I overslept.'

'That's what you get from texting midnight,' Clay grinned.

I couldn't laugh about it and Clay looked a little sad. He turned around to talk with Sapnap. I didn't even hear their conversation, I was completely zoned out. My stomach hurt a little, probably because I had never taken sleeping medication before and definitely not this much.

'Dude, George?' Sap said. He tapped my shoulder.

'What?' I yelled madly.

'Dude, I didn't mean to make you mad.'

'I'm not mad.'

'What's wrong with you?'

'What do you mean what's wrong me with? That's just so mean to say.'

'I didn't mean it like that.'

'You shouldn't have said it then.'

'I'm sorry. How are you?'

'I'm fine.'

I noticed everyone staring at me and a few minutes later the door opened. The principal looked at me.

'George, can you come with me?'

I sighed loudly and stood up. I smashed the door behind me.

'Hey! A little less please,' he said.

'What do you want?'

'Where were you this morning?'

'I overslept.'

'And yesterday?'

'I was sick. Ask Clay.'

'I have to give you two extra hours for skipping classes.'

'FINE,' I screamed. I opened the door and smashed it in his face. The teacher looked at me madly.

'Hey, hello?'

'What the hell do you want?'

'Pardon?'

'Shut the f-.'

'Leave, I don't want you in my class.'

'Just freaking die or something.'

'Pardon?'

'George, what the hell?' Clay asked. He looked at me in confusion.

'Just shut up and text your stupid girlfriend,' I yelled and then run away.

Why the hell did I say that? Why did I care?

787 words