I Will Always Be Here

21

TW's:
-Mentions death (his dream)+trauma
-Mentions suicide attempts
-Mentions self harm

I walked away, crying. I turned around twenty metres away from him and looked at him crying his eyes out. I felt guilty and started walking back. Clay stood up and walked closer to me.

'I still love you,' he whispered. 'I am in love with you.'

'I am in love with you too. You just hurt me so much.'

'I didn't mean it. I really didn't. I love you so freaking much. I'm so in love, I have been for ages. You're so beautiful.'

Forgive him, he loves you, George. I told you. He does. Forgive him, it wasn't his fault, he got forced.

'I-,' I started. 'I think I might be ready to forgive you.'

He walked towards me and grabbed my shoulders. He moved even closer and I noticed our faces being just a centimetre away from each other's.

'Can I kiss you?' he then asked shyly.

I started breathing faster and nodded. Clays face moved closer and he wrapped his arms around my shoulders. I grabbed his waist and pulled him closer. I could feel his breath softly brushing over my lips and I felt his heartbeat beating against my chest. We were about to kiss when I suddenly heard a voice. I quickly let go of him and saw my parents running towards us. My mum grabbed me tightly and hugged me.

'George, I was so scared. I didn't know where you were so I called Clay. Sweetie, why? I was so incredibly scared.'

She had obviously cried a lot since her eyes were blood red.

'Mum, I'm sorry.'

'Please, George. I don't want to sound rude, but you need help. This is the second time you tried committing suicide in just days.'

'Maybe I do,' I muttered.

'Is everything alright between you two? You seemed okay before we came here,' my dad said. He couldn't resist a small smirk. He definitely saw us almost kiss.

'Uh, we- I guess. Yeah, you know.'

'Let's go home, boys,' my dad smirked. 'Are you staying with us, Clay?'

He looked at me hopefully and I nodded. 'Fine.'

We walked home in a comfortable silence, Clay had secretly slipped his hand in mine and I felt very comfortable with it. When we arrived at home, Clay and I sat down on the couch. My mum gave us some water and I suddenly started crying.

'I saw Eva,' I whispered to my mum.

'Eva is dead, sweetie.'

'She talked to me. She told me not to kill myself and to forgive Clay, but suddenly her face faded and I was left alone. I got so sad and I wanted to be with Eva so badly. Clay risked his own life to save me, he jumped in front of the train to push me away. He could have been dead.'

'But I'm not and I'm happy I could save you. May I ask who Eva is?'

'Eva is my sister, Clay. I'm very afraid of height and we climbed a mountain to get me over my fear. When we got on top she got attacked by an animal. I couldn't save her anymore and she- she fell down. It all happened in front of me.'

Clay hugged me and I started crying harder. His hand rubbed through my hair and his other hand held mine.

'Why haven't you told me this earlier?'

'I got sick of all nightmares, I constantly re-experienced it all. It was awful. It was such a big animal, I didn't even talk with my parents about everything I saw.'

'You have a trauma and you should get help for that,' Clay said.

I nodded softly. 'Maybe, but I never dared to.'

'Georgie, you really need help now, this is your second suicide attempt in a few days.'

'You cut yourself.'

Clay got a little red and nodded. 'I did, but I won't do it again. You keep attempting suicide.'

'I have attempted it way more often.'

'How many times?'

'I don't even know, I stood on the bridge once and someone got me off there.'

Clay looked at me by pushing me away softly. He blushed.

'You're beautiful.'

I smiled and blushed too. His face moved closer and before I knew he softly kissed my lips. It was over as quick as it happened. Clay leaned in again, but I shook my head.

'I'm sorry, I can't.'

732 words