Gangs // Yoongi x reader

[Insert Title Here]

In any case, I was now rolling from side to side in my bed without being able to sleep.

I tried to study a little for the huge math exam, which worked surprisingly well, but after an hour I had enough.

The problem was, I still didn't feel tired.
Without further thinking I grabbed my jacket and left the house. Maybe I just needed some air.

West Park was not far from Auntie's block of flats, and I decided to go there. It was now a quarter past two at night.

I liked West Park, actually I liked West best of all neighbourhoods, as it was the quietest part of town. The nightlife was more downtown, part of the north, and part of the south, but night owls were pretty quiet here. At the moment there wasn't a soul in the park.

The park was by no means as beautiful as Gold Park and also a little less well-kept, but at least it had a small fountain in its centre, in which the pale moonlight was now gently glistening in the dark water.

I liked this park better than Gold Park, because it was no sign of how rich this area was. It did not show arrogance and richness. It was just an ordinary park like the one in every neighbourhood and downtown.

And that sense of normalcy was what I needed right now.

I was still so upset inside and felt torn. This conflict, in which me and Yoongi found themselves, just became more and more noticeable. It burdened me around the clock and I slowly wondered what it was all about. This war, the enmity, the gang fights - I had never questioned any of them, but now that I knew that a person, I loved was among my enemies...every time I had to fear that one of my friends would do something to him or vice versa.

Slowly I lost the grip I had built up and that felt more than unsettling. Somehow, I didn't even know who I was and what I wanted out of life. Why was I chosen by that DJ to dance that day in the first place? And why him?

No, I didn't really regret having met him at all. It just felt good to be with him every time. But if he wasn't a BTS member...or I wasn't an EXO member...

I sat on the edge of the fountain and dipped my hand into the cool water that felt so refreshing, as if it would wash away all my worries.

However, the worries came back. I had resolved not to cry so much anymore, but at the moment everything was so difficult that I couldn't help but let out my fear and sadness in the form of tears.

The tears dripped from my cheek into the dark water, where they made tiny ripples.
"Why did it all turn out like this?" I asked myself.

"Pretty shit, eh?"
I almost fell into the water in shock, but someone grabbed my arm. Of course, I knew immediately who it was.

I was ashamed. I don't want to be the cry baby Infront of him, so I turned away.
"What are you doing here?" I asked controlling myself as currently as possible.

"I got night watch. And since there is nothing going on anyway, I left the whole thing up to Hoseok and came to you instead. But nobody was at home with and then I just saw you disappear around the corner."
He grinned, and I turned to him anyway.

Only now, when I looked at him like that, did I realize how cold it actually was. He was wearing a hat and a jacket that looked pretty warm.

Involuntarily I shivered.
"Are you cold?"
"No, no, it's okay."
"As you like. But don't tell me I didn't ask you." He grinned. "But seriously, what makes you go to the park in the middle of the night and cry?"

With the best will in the world, I couldn't look him in the eye. It was because of him. Not that it was his fault that I felt so torn.

"You know...we are so close...but still there is so much that is in the dark. I would tell you everything, but if you think about it, I realize that it wouldn't be everything. The gangs are our things, and we are not allowed to reveal to anyone outside. And definitely not to the enemy." I had to bite my inner cheeks hard not to cry again.

He just nodded. "I know. But it doesn't feel like it's wrong, so it can't be wrong."
I raised my head. "Then why does everyone want us to understand that this is exactly what it is?"
"Because they don't feel it. None of them danced with you at the street party...none of them saw you at the BZ, looking at me with those big, beautiful eyes, so fragile and frightened that I couldn't kill you. And nobody was allowed to have you in their arms like I was allowed to. Do you understand?"

The words seemed to have cost him a little overdraft, because as far as I knew he wasn't exactly the greatest or most soulful speaker.

"They are bound by what is said about EXO and BTS. They do not have an opinion of their own, they just represent the opinion that one BTS member, as BTS or EXO. They do not even want to know what the others are like. They want to keep each other's bad image. I wanted that too, and so did you. But then this crazy DJ came and ignored the prejudices and picked us. Although I don't think you even noticed that I had a BTS tattoo."

I laughed a little. His words warmed my soul. It really was like that: no one had experienced what we had experienced. But the fear remained.

Yoongi had meanwhile sat down next to me and now put his hand on my shoulder. "Y/N, I don't care what the others say...I know that the gangs are in between, and I know that we always have to keep this a secret from each other, but as long as it's just that, I don't care. I don't want to give up on you...never."

The fact that it wasn't easy for him to say all of this only made his words more real and valuable to me. My heart pounded and I became very warm. Without thinking I put my head on his chest and he hugged me.

"Thank you for letting me meet you, Yoongi."
He laughs softly. "Tell that crazy DJ. I made up my mind to write the guy a thank you letter."
I began to laugh too. "But I also want to sign, okay?"

He accompanied me back to the apartment, where I finally invited him to stay. I wanted to be with him now.
And so they watched a movie together. The choice fell on Star Wars, on the grounds that you also have to flee from life and that everything was better in the science fiction universe anyway.

"Princess Leia has a really nice hairstyle. Would suit you too," he joked, and I countered. "As long as you don't use Luke's 70s haircut as a model, everything is okay."
"All right, Skywalker."

By the time the film ended, it was almost morning and we went to bed anyway.

---------------

another part and i still want to know if you guys want a namjin ship in this story?